Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
Hey all, I'm new here. My partner and I have been together nearly 4 years and discuss children quite regularly. The idea of adoption is brought up each time and for some reason, today i have been really thinking about it.
I don't know if we are able to concieve. I am 25 he is 27, we haven't tried before. We have decided that when I turn 27 we will start trying, but I'm quite scared. I have had Deep Vein Thrombosis in the past, after having taken the contraceptive pill. As a result I will have to give myself daily injections into the stomach for the 8 months of the pregnancy, which will be deemed a high-risk pregnancy. Since I got the clot because of the Pill and the Pill alone, I feel it's likely I could get another clot. And not only do I not want that for myself, but I couldn't imagine risking the health of a foetus just because I want a baby. SO, adoption we are considering.
I have a couple of questions. Are there any Australian people on this site? Im curious to know how likely or unlikely it is that I would be able to adopt an aussie, or whether we would be better off looking at overseas children (or children from desolate environments).
Id also like to know the likelyhood that well be able to choose the gender (and age) of the child. I know there are thousands of couples out there who would be happy with either sex, as long as theyre happy and healthy. I also want that but I must admit that having a son would be wonderful. Both myself and my partner are desperate for a boy, and if the option were there to say we would like a boy then well take it.
Im sure Ill think of more questions as time goes on, but Id love to hear advice from people who have been through this before. I suppose the thing I worry about the most is not feeling an attachment to the child because its not technically mine. And how much do you know about the biological parents before adopting? Medical history, personal history, name, age etc etc.
I don't know if we are able to concieve. I am 25 he is 27, we haven't tried before. We have decided that when I turn 27 we will start trying, but I'm quite scared. I have had Deep Vein Thrombosis in the past, after having taken the contraceptive pill. As a result I will have to give myself daily injections into the stomach for the 8 months of the pregnancy, which will be deemed a high-risk pregnancy. Since I got the clot because of the Pill and the Pill alone, I feel it's likely I could get another clot. And not only do I not want that for myself, but I couldn't imagine risking the health of a foetus just because I want a baby. SO, adoption we are considering.
I have a couple of questions. Are there any Australian people on this site? Im curious to know how likely or unlikely it is that I would be able to adopt an aussie, or whether we would be better off looking at overseas children (or children from desolate environments).
Id also like to know the likelyhood that well be able to choose the gender (and age) of the child. I know there are thousands of couples out there who would be happy with either sex, as long as theyre happy and healthy. I also want that but I must admit that having a son would be wonderful. Both myself and my partner are desperate for a boy, and if the option were there to say we would like a boy then well take it.
Im sure Ill think of more questions as time goes on, but Id love to hear advice from people who have been through this before. I suppose the thing I worry about the most is not feeling an attachment to the child because its not technically mine. And how much do you know about the biological parents before adopting? Medical history, personal history, name, age etc etc.
Good luck
I think Dave's advice is irresponsible as if you have a blood clotting disorder and feel that adopting is safer for your wellbeing then that is your right path.
I think there is another Aussie here or from close by New Zealand that wrote to me once.
Like you I am pursuing adoption. Unfortunately, I have lost three pregnancies and have had a full work up but no conclusive diagnosis. It was speculated that I have a blood clotting disorder and it was recommended that I would have to do Heprin shots every day as an option. I declined.
Having said that; your choice is entirely personal. You and your partner will know if you want to embark on trying to conceive or pursue adoption.
I wish you luck!
I dont have much information regarding an Australian adoption as we are pursuing a Colombian process..
I agree with n1977, dave's advice is irresponsible. if you've been told by dr's the likely outcome then adoption is a good way to go. I don't know the laws in Aussie however have you thought of surrogacy? Possibly using your eggs and your partners sperm? It would still be your genetic child but your body wouldn't be at risk and you could watch the pregnancy develop
On behalf of dave I think u are all being a bit harsh because you didnt explain your medical history in enough detail for him to form any other conclusoin
when you are trying to fall pregnant you do not take the pill ??and many woman want a baby so much they go through having injections etc especially on IVF. You didnt mention you had been to the Dr . I have reread your post and i still dont quite get why it is a high pregnancy ? So could everyone please read carefully. You may know the offshoots to all these things but others like Dave may not.
I sincerely hope that you chose the right way for yourselves and if you are at great risk, I hope adoption works for you. Please if you chose this path do a lot of research so that you can help and support your adopted child through the various dificulties surrounding adoption. There are many.And of course you will need support as well because adoption is not an easy road for anyone.It can however be rewarding and wonderful and families are people who love eachother ( not just blood relatives) .
Having a blood clot is very very dangerous (even fatal), it can dislodge from the vein wall and travel to your heart or brain, causing a heart attack or stroke. This is why I'll be considered a high-risk pregnancy. The injections that are needed daily help my blood stay as thin as it possibly can be without damaging the foetus. Blood thinners will harm an unborn child so this is the only option. The injections are EXTREMELY painful and make your stomach bruise up like an apple rolled down a hill. I could deal with this for 9 months if I could be certain it would stop the clots but I can't.
Also, regarding not mentioning that I'd spoken to doctors about pregnancy before... well, I thought it was a rather obvious thing. It's not like I'd jump straight into adoption without making sure my options were open! No decisions have been made, my partner and I would still like a couple of years to ourselves before having children. I'm just getting a feel for adoption and seeing if it's right for us by speaking with those who have been through it.
you actually wouldn't believe how many people will seek advice on forums before they go to see a dr so this is why it was mentionned.
You are very well informed and ty for explianing the situation that all can now understand.
I understand why you would be seeking info about adoption. I can only speak as an adoptee but some of us are very blessed to have wonderful adoptive parents who give us all the love ,security and support needed throughout our lives. There is still for some a huge need to know ones biological roots so if you are able to learn more about adoption from all sides you will be able to have a better chance at understanding the diferences in raising a biological child to an adopted one.
My wife and have adopted two siblings from CPS and are close to finalizing adoption of a third. We couldn't be happier with the way things turned out.
After reading Mouse statements I realized that while for us who have lived this road of blood clotting, RH Factor, x chromosomal abnormality and the rest on the list.... We forget that what is normal language to us due to our experiences; most people never heard about. Therefore, your comment totally makes sense.
Once again; I am sorry I jumped on you.
Dave is a really great guy on this site and has done so much and been helpful to many people
I think everything surrounding adoption is confusing and emotional and it is easy to jump to the wrong conclusion especially when we can only see written word,We don't have the ability to hear how someone would say something.Sometimes I feel like explaining my intonations, but that would take so long lol
It also takes courage to say sorry and I commend you for that.It also helps to make our adoption site more helpful if we understand eachother. How can we offer advice if we see half questions asked or do we just try and then sound bad because we haven't had all the information? It can be a bit tricky. I realise that everyone doesn't always want to give us all their details and they shouldnt have to.It's just hard to know what to say when you don't have them and sometimes this causes misunderstandings.