Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
Ok so DH and I tried to have children of our own, but after trying for over 2 years we decided to focus on adoption. Our Home Study starts on Wednesday of this week. We also have to write our Dear Birthmother letter. I'm more nervous about this than anything. Any tips from people that have been through this would be greatly appreciated. Especially you birthmothers out there...I know this must be something so difficult to decide and I want to know what to say. What kinds of things would you want to hear to know that your baby would be raised with so much love? Please help...anything from anyone would be appreciated. Thank you in advance.
Kahlua13
We began our journey in the same way,through an agency. Ultimately, we ended up adopting my son out of the foster care system. But my biggest advice to you regarding the home study is to be yourselves! This whole process really helped bring me to a closer relationship with God, which really has helped me through the difficult times. I just put my trust in Him and it all came together for us. Best of luck to you! Don't try to be what someone else wants you to be. Be yourself.
deleted_user
Just be genuine and speak from your heart in both the home study and the letter. I found the whole process very enlightening and I actually developed a relationship with our social worker after our adoption was completed because we really connected with each other. I also think it helped that she was also an adoptive mom. Good luck and let us know how it turns out.
deleted_user
I agree with the advice you have gotten...be yourself, speak what is truly in your heart, and you will be fine....I will be thinking of you...good luck!!!
deleted_user
Be yourself. But make sure to put your interests & values into the letter. I know it helped me to know my son would be raised around dogs & horses as I was. And that he would be raised with christian values and a strong sense of family, as his grandparents lived close by. Also put your views and what he/she will be told about adoption. I hate hearing people talk about how they want to "rescue a baby that wasn't wanted" -- that is NOT true at all with most adoptions. I have actually had people come up to me after finding out my little ones are adopted & saying " she's so pretty, I can't believe her mother didn't want her" or acting like I must be a saint for adopting all these kids nobody else wanted. With most of my kids I had to fight to get to keep them, with relatives or others coming out of the woodwork & their birthparents wanted them, they just couldn't take care of them at the time. I have the privilege of being the one chosen by God to raise my beautiful children. Sorry, I get carried away sometimes being a birthmom & an adoptive mom, I am very emotional about my children!!
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