Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
I have been a member of this group for a long time.. I didnt know how I wanted to "approach" my first post.
My mother was forced to give her first child when she was 14... she was raped and even after going through all of that, wanted to keep the baby.. But "back then" it just wasnt an option where she wasnt married. I never got to meet my sister, and think about her everyday. I have looked for her on and off since I found out about her when I was seventeen.
I was raised as an "only child", but was fortunate enough to go to a daycare in which the childcare provider had thirteen adoptive and foster children. I never felt more at home than when I was at her house. All of the children there, happy, well cared for and loved. I grew up knowing I would adopt someday.
I ended up becoming a nanny before I got married, and continued to take care of children in my home daycare... All I have EVER wanted to be was a mother. Then this past year I was diagnosed with PCOS. We found out after 8 years of trying to conceive, that we most likely wouldnt be able to have children w/o medical intervention. I was really, REALLY upset at first, but then I thought, hey! I can still adopt! Well, in my state you can't adopt AND have a daycare.. you cant have a "dual license".. or so I have been told. I am still looking into it. So basically, I would have to close my daycare to adopt, but if I do that I cant adopt because in this state you also have to have a job for two years straight before you can adopt.. so I am damned if I do, and damned if I dont. I have centered my entire life around children, but may never have one of my own. And I would consider an adoptive child one of my own obviously.
So, sorry to write a book, but I was just hoping to meet people in this group who have had similar experiences.. I dont know what to try next? Private adoption (since adopting through foster care in my state may not be an option).. or to fight "the system" and find a way around the dual license situation? We are still trying to conceive, but in my heart I know I want and need to adopt.
Also, has anyone searched for and found a sibling that has been adopted? I know it happens, but are there any websites you could recommend?
As far as private adoption goes, I would love to hear some personal experiences, things to avoid, etc. I am extremely interested in open adoption after hearing what my mother went through with my sister. I kind of "co-parent" with all of the daycare parents at my daycare, so I know its something I can do, and would be interested in doing if thats what the birth mother wanted. Thanks for reading. :)
My mother was forced to give her first child when she was 14... she was raped and even after going through all of that, wanted to keep the baby.. But "back then" it just wasnt an option where she wasnt married. I never got to meet my sister, and think about her everyday. I have looked for her on and off since I found out about her when I was seventeen.
I was raised as an "only child", but was fortunate enough to go to a daycare in which the childcare provider had thirteen adoptive and foster children. I never felt more at home than when I was at her house. All of the children there, happy, well cared for and loved. I grew up knowing I would adopt someday.
I ended up becoming a nanny before I got married, and continued to take care of children in my home daycare... All I have EVER wanted to be was a mother. Then this past year I was diagnosed with PCOS. We found out after 8 years of trying to conceive, that we most likely wouldnt be able to have children w/o medical intervention. I was really, REALLY upset at first, but then I thought, hey! I can still adopt! Well, in my state you can't adopt AND have a daycare.. you cant have a "dual license".. or so I have been told. I am still looking into it. So basically, I would have to close my daycare to adopt, but if I do that I cant adopt because in this state you also have to have a job for two years straight before you can adopt.. so I am damned if I do, and damned if I dont. I have centered my entire life around children, but may never have one of my own. And I would consider an adoptive child one of my own obviously.
So, sorry to write a book, but I was just hoping to meet people in this group who have had similar experiences.. I dont know what to try next? Private adoption (since adopting through foster care in my state may not be an option).. or to fight "the system" and find a way around the dual license situation? We are still trying to conceive, but in my heart I know I want and need to adopt.
Also, has anyone searched for and found a sibling that has been adopted? I know it happens, but are there any websites you could recommend?
As far as private adoption goes, I would love to hear some personal experiences, things to avoid, etc. I am extremely interested in open adoption after hearing what my mother went through with my sister. I kind of "co-parent" with all of the daycare parents at my daycare, so I know its something I can do, and would be interested in doing if thats what the birth mother wanted. Thanks for reading. :)
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
xx,
beep.
While your stste has some limits, there are ways to overcome them. You could take in enough kids to justify leasing space somewhere for your day care center. The state would have no issue with a day care not in your home. Second, you could move to a state with fewer limitations, or third, you could give up the day care, and be a foster parent. Many people who dearly love helping kids choose being a foster care home as a lifestyle choice. No, the money won't mkae you rich, but it is tax free. If you care for a child more than six months in a calendar year, you can also carry them as a dependent on your income tax return. It may be enough to replace your day care income, and allow you to live the life you want.
Don't let go of your dream, find a way!