Wow I didn't know this. I see why they would do this though. I know my a parents were always nervous that my birth mom would come back to get me. I know sometimes we think the things are parents do is just awful but they are usually just trying to protect us. I am glad you found you birth family.

Thanks for the information. I am having such a hard time finding out anything and this might be another reason why.

Interesting....my daughter's birthmother had applied for a SSN in the hospital. She gave me the number, but I never used it (we adopted our daughter at birth)until the adoption was finalized in our state and I was able to go to SS and change the data element in the system listing us as 'parents'.

I didn't know they could do that if they aren't keeping the child. My birth mom didn't do that.

It is not the birth moms choice to do this, it is the adoptive parents that can do this, from what I have gatheres, after the adoption is complete.

What I meant was, I didn't know the birth mom could request a ssn if they were giving up the child from birth. I understand why the adoptive parents would feel the need to change it!

My son was in and out of foster care for the first 4 years of his life until he came to live with us (as a pre-adoptive resource.) Parental rights had not yet been terminated and we were foster parents for 2 1/2 years before TPR (termination of parental rights) and the adoption was final. Based on my son's history of abuse and neglect, years of drugs, alcohol addiction, depression and other mental issues his bparents had, my husband and I were very careful to make sure that there was no way his bparents could track him or us down. (The last time he saw them, shortly before he came to us, he screamed so bad and bruised his former foster mom from clinging to her, that they had to take him out of the room.) So for us, after the adoption, we changed my son's name, birth certificate and SSN all at the same time. I still keep the originals and will give them to my son when he is older. But this was a huge safety thing for us, so thank God we could do this. I just had to bring the adoption papers with me to the SS office.

wow, got a whole lot to say on this topic and dont normally mind being bashed for my opinions but everyone w/have to wait on my opinion about thisw for now...

wow. that is quite interesting. thank you for this info :)

Thanks for sharing this. I didn't know this either.

At the time I gave my girl up, the laws stated(& still do), that the adoption is in a "closed file". The laws have changed for different years, but, not for the year when I gave my child up. There are some letters in there to/for her, that I wrote long ago, hoping one day she would get them. I feel I should have put a stipulation on the adoption that she BE TOLD she was adopted. I didn't realize I could have done this until later. I don't think I had a "choice" at the time whether the file could be left open or not(i.e. available to either side). The question I have is this, how long do adoption agencies "exist" for? If they go "out of business/no longer exist", WHERE do all their file's & info go? Would the letter's be just "thrown away" or would they be thrown away anyway, after a period of time?

Also, to add to the above, AT THE TIME, I didn't want the adoption to be an open one, for, I didn't want to interfere with her life. I felt this was respecting both her life & her new parents live's. But, in retrospect, what about medical info, heritage, etc? What if she needed an organ, blood transfusion, platelets & couldn't find a match & I would be the only match for this, but, she couldn't find me? But, now that I am older & wiser, I realize there should also be SOME WAY to keep tabs on the adopted children, ONLY in case they are with a family that abuses them! It BREAKS MY HEART, to learn of someone that was adopted & was treated like this!!! I always say, "Live life to the fullest & live it with no regrets".......unfortunately, this one will be a "regret", if I find out someone harmed her or didn't meet her needs & more! And if this happened, I will be BS with the state for not protecting her!!!

There may be another reason why some file's should be left closed.......

I read long ago about a woman that gave up her child for adoption. The child was conceived because she got raped. The father was not a "good person" & she didn't want to re-live this event(rape) nor did she want the father to know her where abouts, for she feared he would harm her. The harm may have been due to him being imprisoned because of her/this event or just fear, because he did this in the first place to her. Anyway, regardless, the adopted child found & met with her bdad & thought he was "nice", "awesome" or whatever & said this in a letter to the bmom. The bmom does not trust that her whereabouts would not be found out or accidently divulged by the bchild, if she met with the bchild. She also did not like/approve of the bchild's view, as far as the character of the father went. "How could the bchild think so highly of him, when he hurt me so badly?! This really hurts me to hear this!", said the bmom. The bmom had a hard time responding back to the bchild because of this letter & I'm not sure she ever did. In this situation, I think the bfather may have been in jail, when the bchild met him(not sure on this). If he wasn't, maybe the guy changed for the better(maybe not). Regardless of this, the child was conceived in a very brutal, inhumane way! This woman wants her identity & whereabouts protected. Can anyone blame her?