Adoption Support Group

Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.

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A question for potential adoptive parents

duane
duane
How does one handle all the stress? We finished out homestudy in December. Our intention was to do an international adoption because we felt that private would never happen for us. Then in January we were called by our pracitioner to get a profile ready for two potential birth mothers. There has been so many ups and downs...I do not know how much more I can take in this process. I can not imagine what the birth families are going through...probably the same feelings...
How do you handle it?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I completely understand what you are going through. I know that prayer has helped us so much. If you are a believer then pray often. The other thing that is helping us is trying to do normal things and just living life. Taking one day at a time. Try not to let it all dominate your life. Get out and do things with family and friends, have a date night, etc. Hang in there. I keep telling myself it will all be worth it! God Bless.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Duane, try to look at the timeline as if you have just started trying to get pregnant. It will probably take a few months, then you will have to wait at least nine more months to have the baby. We adopted through foster care, and we have friends that went private at the same time. They successfully adopted two over two years, and so did we. The only difference was they spent $50K and ours was free.
Do look for an adoption support group through your agency or a local church. It will help to have a common bond to share. Good Luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
What the others have said is great, keep yourself busy. As a birthmom, I have to say it's not the same for us as the adoptive parents, you have something to look forward to, we just have grief and loss...
Mouse8844
Mouse8844
It must be very hard for you.I was once in the position that i never thought i would have children as i had tried for 5 yrs to no avail.
I was lucky and had 4 of my own but not in a million years would i think it would be easy for these mums to relinquish their babies.Its such a basic relationship.I can understand them wanting to keep their babies and i can understand that you would be heartbroken every time you get close and are unable to adopt.
I think i would personally try not to get too excited till a baby was placed in my arms,that way you know it is real.No matter how hard it is for you it is hard for the mums.I am sure you know all that.Perhaps you could ask the agency only to contact you when something really definate can happen.They seem to be holding out carrots and not being able to follow through.This would be kinder to you.Getting your hopes up for someone so special and then being told no is heart breaking.
Dont give up hope,try to stay positive and know that it may take a long time but it will be so worth it.
And if you think about it babies come from somewhere.Do you really want a baby whose mum has been pushed into giving the child up or would you prefer she made a concious descision about what she was doing.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I guess I just take it in stride and know in my heart that the wait won't be too much longer considering how long we have already been waiting. I definitely find the process easier mentally than trying to conceive. It is not so intense with all the testing stuff. I try to focus on the positives and putting together the little things while we wait. XO :)