Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
Why was I adopted into a family full of hate. My father,once successful is now a car salesman cocaine addict gambler. My mother, a bitter jealous woman who never dealt with the emotional and physical abuse from my father. She is just so cruel, and my older sister who is biologically related to my adoptive parents married rich and just left me here to suffer. I've never known my birth parents or anything abt them other then they were young and lived in los Angeles. Why was I brought into such a horrible hard sad life. Maybe I should've posted this in the depression forum : /
thanks dave and bingo mum it is very hard to find out that your BM does not have the capacity to love you as you need to be loved. Having a supportive adopted family would have made all the diference to me as I have been sooo terribly hurt even as an adult.
My adoptive parents had already died when i even found out i was adopted and i wish they had been there to talk to so much you may not understand. My adopted brother doesnt feel the same about it and doesnt want contact at all.This leaves me in a unsupported state with my husband fed up ,my kids dont care about my birth family so it is much harder for me to regain my happiness. so why i am saying all this is because as much as you love your adopted parents there is sometimes quite a drive to know your bio roots and the one who is your bm. I know she is not a stable or does not seem to know how to understand how others feel. With help from somewhere or just from within I have to deal with this on my own and only now when i realise the great hurt she has also caused in her other kids life can ii sit back and say "do i really want to know you?" So when your kids are old enough to know the facts they can chose to have a relationship or not.
They may never want to know especially boys or they may find their birth mum to be someone they cannot trust or like but they will appreciate very much that you have stood by them till they get over the initial stages to a plce where they can breathe and see things clearly for themselves.
I used to absolutely hate it when people used to say "you are better off being adopted" and now I can really see that as a good thing.
Do hope i am making sense here. You can probably see i am not as raw emotionally as i used to be and hopefully my words which have always meant the same will come out a bit diferently
all the best