Hey there, I know how you feel, I was adopted when I was 4 by some loving people, but as I got older I started to have problems with how I looked at myself and going into a deep depression and nothing seemed to help. But I noticed that around the time that made it worse was my 16th birthday which was horrible because my bio family started to come around and try to take over my life. But as far as you go there is no reason for you to think that what we have is your fault, it is something that we get from our parents not what we give our selfs.

Hey Katie, thanks for your kind words and for responding. I'm sorry you have had to go through this. I know that i've been so lucky, i think that if i hadn't been adopted i could be dead or in a very bad situation...but for some reason it seems like the way i was raised (sheltered and uneventful) might have something to do with some of my present issues and i have no idea why.
it must have been so hard when your bio family got involved...i can't imagine a bunch of, basically, strangers trying to get at you.
my adoptive parents were older (in their 50's) with three grown sons, so i was basically an only child at home. I began to yearn for siblings for some reason. When I was about 8 or 9 i found out that my birth mother was remarried and had, at the time two other daughters. It kind of crushed me to think that she couldn't take care of me and then not long after started an entirely new family. I've had a lot of guilt over feeling abandoned when I got such a good home in the end.
Anyways, there's more but I thought I'd give you a little back story. I hope you're having a great day :) And i am here whenever you need!

First thing...please read "Primal Wound". It will help you understand a lot of the adoption issues. It really starts from the day you were given away. I am also adopted and had wonderful aparents. I have had to work though a lot of the same feelings and guilt. I got to meet my birth family and that brought up more issues to be worked though. But it was well worth it. I now have 2 very loving families. If you want to talk more I am here for you. I may not be on line much but I will try to check in, good luck to you and know you are not alone.

You should seek out a professional and try to determine whether this is an adoption issue, or a clinical depression issue inherited from bio-parents. It doesn't sound like you didn't fit in, it sounds like real depression.

reading all of yur post has helped to deside toy myself thankyou keep my baby and raise it by myself.

Hi, I'm new here too and I know exactly how you feel. I have never felt a part of things in my life. I always felt like I was living with strangers. I grew to actually hate my mother and I can't really figure that out. It would take too long to go into all of it, but I am now trying to get better. I am older than most on here I suppose but I've been depressed in various degrees since I was about 16. I remember the first depression/anxiety I felt just like it was yesterday. I've gone through these feeling many times since then, but none so severe as the first time. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. I will check in at least once a day. .
Glenda

hi I agree
read the Primal Wound
have just got to page 22 and it is very helpful in understandings one's hidden feelings
a great read

wow, thanks everyone for your support! this is something i don't really talk about too much and don't really know anyone that would understand..until now :)
i definitely think that my depression issues are something that i inherited...my bio-parents seem like they have a lot of problems. from what little i know about my bio-dad, he was an alcoholic and my birth mother is not doing much better today because she has basically abandoned her other family too so...yeah, for sure got issues.

i have tried counseling in the past, but with minimal results. now i think i am ready to give it another go, i am just to that point. my lows have been so low and there is just so much ground to cover with my situation, i think it would feel really good to be able to let it all out again. and i will most definitely check out that book.


and to poohbear, congratulations!! i know making the choice to do this is hard, but being a mother myself, there is nothing like watching your child grow and develop and giving him or her lots of love! i doubt you will ever regret this decision. good luck to you :)