ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
I am so sick and tired of teachers calling my daughter Lazy. I feel that they do not understand my daughter and her condition . My daughter is ADD she is unorganized, has a short attention span, is distracted easily, and lacks the fine motor skills needed to write. She lives in the here and now and due to these disabilities has a hard time starting and completing tasks. The teachers rather than dealing with the disability and finding ways to cope with these disabilities they try to fix the disabilities and when they are not successful in curing her they say she is lazy. Example: If you have a child who is blind you would not try to teach the child to see and there fore cure him would you? NO of course not.!! You would teach him how to live with his disability and enhance his other abilities to compensate for his disability. The reality of it is we all know is this child will probably never see again. There fore using the example above why do my daughters teachers try to cure my daughters ADD rather than trying to teach her other ways to cope and deal with it. Dont get me wrong If there was or is a cure for ADD sign me up but for 11 years my daughter has been living with this and it hasn't gone away yet and I am not seeing any signs of it letting up geez it doesn't even go into remission except when she is asleep ( but who knows she may dream in ADD LOL) Anyway I feel that all this labeling and pressure from the teachers at my daughters school is affecting her emotionally and socially and there are times that I want to shove the definition and discription of ADD down their throats until they understand and are able to start helping me to help my child rather than further cause her emotional trauma.
The % of kids with ADD/HD generally have a combined condition such as SPD-sensory processing disorder--this should be what they are categorized because SPD is another beast in itself which many teachers are clueless to--unless an OT explains what it is how they can work together as a team for the child--SPD can effect one-all the senses.--There is current research going on to see if ADD/HD should be eliminated from the DSM and ICD code books or is should be relabeled.
My son is affected in almost all of the sensory's, therefore has a terrible time academically. Not to mention he has many other disorders going on as well. Luckily we have not been told he's lazy--A couple of the teachers say "he doesn't put effort into his work" but the majority of the teachers will tell you that he is a hard worker and tries his best to do the work--that he is far from lazy. If it's just one teacher saying she's lazy--You should try to see if she can switched out of that class room. Seems to me there could be a personality conflict going on and that could be a result of the top 2 reasons I gave why the teacher refers to her as being lazy.
I had an english teacher carry a grudge against me from when I started 7th grade until I had her in 11th. I accidentally kicked her when I was trying to get my boot off my foot in the winter. My hands slipped off my boot and my foot went right into her shin--my locker was right outside her Home Room door. I apologized uphill and downhill and didn't make a difference--she hated me from that day forward and she proved it every time she graded my english work. I tried to get out of her class and couldn't--so I went to another english teacher and told him what was going on and he from that day forward protected me by re-evaluating my work and making sure the grade fit the work I did. Thanks to him I passed, other wise I would have failed. That's another option you might have, have another teacher that is aware of what your daughters "issues" are have that teacher keep an eye on her, thank goodness my son's AIS teachers stood up for him last year, otherwise I think his teacher would have held him back.
So far this year, it seemed like he was doing good--he would ace his homework assignments in math but failed his test. His teacher is working on getting him AIS for math--Hopefully that will help.
Good luck to you and your daughter--Schools are our biggest challenge.
1. Try to work on a reasonable system of organization. That has 3 basic components, writing down and calendaring in some way Outlook, regular calendar, to do list, checking the list on a regular basis, and doing the work.
2. Be positive. ADHD people have less tolerance for criticism. Tell her she is doing well. Create reasonable and achievable benchmarks.
3. Get tutors, try to get to the bottom of what are the issues or problems
As someone who deals with ADHD, I don't think the solution is easy or flexible teachers. I do think teachers need to work on developing better skills in their students.
My daughter has been extremely lucky up until this year to have amazing teachers who understood her (even though she was never officially diagnosed until this year.) It's a huge challenge for a teacher to take the extra time to address the special needs of one of their students, especially at that age. BUT it's absolutely important to find one that will. In first grade her teacher gave her her own desk separate from the group tables of the other students, and that made a world of difference! But this year her teacher was unorganized and had a somewhat hands-off approach to maintaining her classroom and it just did not work. Also, she literally rolled her eyes at me when I would talk to her about my daughter having ADHD, as if that's just a myth and not really a condition! Unbelievable!
So my suggestion would be to see if there is another teacher who is more understanding that you can switch her over to, or otherwise get her out of that situation any way you can. My daughter started hating school and her self esteem plummeted so I got her out of there as quick as I could. Good luck!
I won't offer too much except what has helped us so far with my son.
With the writing, my son was reacting to the notebook paper-He didn't want to write on it and he would pound his fists on the floor and beg for a zero.
During a teacher conference another teacher said that a basic kindergarten rule bound tablet might work. Now, my son does his work with much less troulbe. As a matter of fact, when he read about a journal, he liked the idea of one-so often if they don't have what they need, the children will act out.
My school situation is horrid. Another thing that we have to do is call and push and talk to the principal and keep in touch with the teacher and let them know that we aren't letting go.
I pushed and pushed and finally, they are getting my son a full assessment and also a possible "other emotionally impaired" ruling (hopefully).
Meds can help. Now, I DO NOT know about autism meds just yet, but I know that with my son, the Adderall XR 10 does wonders. Now all he needs is a calming agent.
He doesn't need that much training in life skills but mainly to handle emotions and in learning to deal with unexpected situations (adaptation).
You have to let the educational folks KNOW that you aren't letting go or giving up. If you can get him switched to another teacher, that is good. If, like us, you have a cruddy teacher and the school won't listen, then perhaps a theraputic school might be good.
If my son responds well to his meds and can get some therapy and help with his handwriting/reading, then we might not need to get him into the theraputic school. Our teacher has begun to back off, but we still don't like her.
Do others have suggestions? We are so definitely listening.
Good luck to you,
Peace,
4myson