When it comes to the schools I have found that you have to sometimes be assertive.

With my son they put him in special ed classes our second year here. And his self esteam went down. He also didn't try as hard either. In the school that we are going to and as well as the after school program that my children attend and I work at. WE have observed that 99% of the children that attended SE either didn't need it or the ones that did seemed to think that while in SE they didn't have to do or turn in thier work because of it. With my son it was another story. He would do his work but not turn it in. He pretty muched failed while being in SE. The teachers would keep him in from recess to make sure that he did his work. At the end of the school year I pulled him out and wanted to hold him back cause I knew deep down he wasn't ready for the 4th grade due to the lack of work. But it was a double edge sword if I pulled him out they were going to advance him anyway and the same with keeping him in as well. I regret now not standing my ground and holding him back.
This school seemed to forget alot of things. 1. being that there is a special class not like SE but rather then a smaller size class room and more structured. My son now is in a 6 student classroom at another school all boys in the class. this program is available untill he no longer needs it so it is there even thru highschool.
After a year of trying to get my son to do his homework that is still the issue today only because he has only been in this class now for about 2 to 3 weeks.

You need to voice your concerns louder so that they will hear or it will be a never ending battle. If the school isn't going to listen I would get ahold of the SE director at the School district. You have rights as a parent read the pamplet as well that will get you the answers you and your son deserve.

I had stated several times last year during IEP meetings that the school has a policy NO CHILD SHALL BE LEFT BEHIND but they left not only my son behind but my oldest as well and that isn't good in my eyes. After about 3 meetings of that they finally understood or actually listened. I think a big thing as well was last year was the princapals last year. He wasn't a very good one. This year we have a woman and she is great. I had stated my concerns with her from the very begining. As well as having the support of my bosses at the after school program.

Gee I hope this helpped sometimes I get on a subject or 3 and they all get jumbled together like today.

Take care and good luck.

My son has was 11 years old before having an I.E.P. He is now 15. In my opinion, the I.E.P's were developed to pacify parents. You need to stay on top of things with the teacher to make sure what is in place is being addressed. Do you e-mail on a regular basis? Does he have a tutor? If you are not satisfied, call another I.E.P. meeting. It's your right. You can call one at any time. I had to do that for my son last year because I was not satisfied with how things were going with him. I was so glad I did. I got on one of the ADD websites ....how to be an advocate, which really helped me at the meeting. You want to have a good relationship with your child's teacher, so having a good meeting can really help, because negative feelings could only hurt your child. It wasn't at the meeting, but a conversation I had with his math teacher...I told her that we needed to be creative and that we really needed her help to come up with some solutions. It doesn't always have to be the parent to come up with ideas.

As far as the meds are concerned, I don't know what to tell you. My son just started taking them this year, but he's 15. He can verbalize how it's making him feel, which is helpful. The only side effects I see with him is that he becomes rather irritable at the end of the day; appetitite and sleeping hasn't been a problem...but his is a low dosage and he's a bigger boy than yours. **You are right, though, meds is only part of the solution. Best of luck to you!

Our IEP's have been a joke. Teacher agreed to help by stapling all son's work together to be brought home (because it wasn't all making it before). I've gotten stapled work maybe 3 times since Dec. Other days I get a page or 2 here and there. His report card came home with 40 and 60 for homework turned in. Anyway, they basically make no suggestions or commitments and just say that my son is not the only child and that he is impeeding on their ability to teach the others. They called me to take him home once and I refused as it would just reward him and not teach him anything, I told them they have to deal with him. Their only suggestion is more medication. Dr suggested changing schools, which I am seriously considering. I have yet to figure out what the purpose of the IEP's are other than a little "chat". Hoping someone with more experience answers your question as I'd be interested to learn more myself.

I m beginning to wonder if the IEP is also just to pacify the parents. It seems we attempt to implement something and when that does not work, we don't move on to a new idea. Instead we sit there, doing nothing. I guarantee if I were to take him off meds everyone would be saying, "Let's do something to make it better." Emailing has made a difference. Most of the time I don't get a response. :( I understand my son is not the only one in the class, but he is in the class and deserves positive attention, too. We need to figure out how to do that to encourage his good behavior but no one seems interested in finding a solution. When I spoke to his resource teacher that he goes to a few times a week, she told me she asked him if he had any ideas on a reward system. He is a young 5....

We just started the 'interacting' with teacher and school routine. My son is gifted- but let me tell you, the lack of help is just the same. His teacher even said SHE has seen ADHD kids all her life and my son is NOT ADHD (funny - went to the #1 person in the state for diagnosis - and his results were VERY high for ADHD diagnosis)
We are starting to RAISE things up the school system. I really don't care who gets mad at this point (I will be professional but firm). From my viewpoint - if your child is not LIKE 90% of the kids - they do very little. They go thru the processes and their 'testing', but nothing really happens. I thought this was just because we are in a somewhat rural county.

BE the bully mom - I am going to be. Maybe if more of us WERE - they would find a way to work with kids that are a little different in their learning.

Suggestions for good behavior. This is what my son's new teacher does for all her kids.
If they turn in thier work, do well with thier work in class and other things they get money. When they earn so much like $5 or $10 they get recreational time. Time on the computer, watch a movie, play games. She also has the change money at the end of the week they can buy stuff out of the store box like toys and candy. All the money is fake.

I get a progress report every friday. What I do is if he brings home all yeses (for doing things on progress) he gets 30 minutes or more time playing the game he loves on the computeer. For every no on his progress he has to read for 30 minutes more and then he can do what ever he wants with in reason but not the computer time.
If he brings home all yeses for the whole month he earns $25.

If you have girls that either like to cheer or sing. I have found that doing thier spelling words in a cheer or song helps. When my children were in Kindergarden and had to remember their Name First and Last, address, mom and dad's name and phone number I put it in a song. So when the teacher asked them well they sang the song to them rather then just answering thier the one question like what is your telephone number. Also with thier spelling I have tried finding a smaller word in the big word that I know they could spell. Like place. I would have them spell ace then say pl ace. Soon enough they were spelling it. Sometimes this can be hard too.
When they were reading. I would read one page and have them read the next.
My work last year did for the first time a summer program. They stayed ontop of school work. They would have 30 minutes of reading every morning. Math on one day, Spelling on another. They would also go to the library once a week, go to the park everyday when the weather permitted and had water day every Thursday, And crafts everday. The summer program was the same hours as school days so it helped the kids to stay on a routine. This also helpped my kids because they didn't really like to read. My son did better in this program because it wasn't always sitting down for hours on end being taught and craming things into his head. It was versatile.

This IEP thing is a joke, I went to one yesterday and I just felt like woodwork in the room. I suggest something and the teacher and so called speacials shot it down. They did not need me in the room they had there minds made up before I went to school. We only have one of these things every 6months and I think we need them every two weeks. But the school will not let you know before hand what or how you yourself need to do to schedule one. The school system here is very hush hush with resources on this stuff.