I was pushed to my limit of being able to deal with things last June, I felt that I was having a complete break down- and most of it was due to dealing with my son's school. I have been having a very hard time again these past couple of months. I am a single Mom, have two boys ages 9 and almost 7, both have ADHD the youngest also has behavioural problems, and anxiety. I lost my mom 3 years ago, haven't spoken to any family except for one sister since then. She lives quite far away and tends to only call when she needs something. I find myself with no support system at all. I do think that it is very common for parents to need support for themselves. We need to take care of our selves to help our kids. I feel terrible guilt because my son's have this, I also know that I am not the best parent in the world. I don't seem to have any patients sometimes. I hate myself when I get upset and yell, I know it's not helping yet I do it anyway. To say I need some help is probably putting it mildly.
Here I have found that there are parents dealing with more than me, and it is good to know that there are people here who completely understand how things are.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I wish I could say I'm glad it's not just me, but I also feel for you and all you're going through. Best of luck to you with everything! I tip my hat to you because it's hard enough with my situation, but as a single parent, you're really doing it all.

I am sorry you are going through all of this. I can relate to you. I also feel very stressed out because of the struggles with my son with ADHD, and it saddens me that he has these problems.

I do see a counselor myself because I have depression, but its mainly due to the miscarriage I had 16 months ago and a combination of all the other stress in my life. And since I miscarried I have wanted to try again ever since, but its really not the right time. And with our son having ADHD and his struggles, plays a big factor to why we need to stay focused on him right now and getting him better.

I do have a question for you. You mentioned he has food anxiety. What exactly is that? I have noticed with my son that he is like a germophobe when it comes to his food. He will watch me prepare it and tell me not to breathe on it and he freaks out if anyone handles his food with there hands. He is also overly concerned if the food is old and if its still good. I wasnt sure if this was just a phase he was going through since he has only started doing it in the past few months, or if it could be something else. Is that what your son does?

Anyway, I know how stressful it is dealing with a child with ADHD, and I am surprised I dont have any grey hairs yet. Good luck, and I hope it gets easieer for you. And no, you are not alone.

CA Writermom,LiannaMe- I can totally identify with this.....today for example.I am so angry, i just am mad at everyone and everything, some for no reason at all... and that makes me even angrier!! It is like a big circle with no end. I love my kids and my family and i am lucky to have them but sometimes i feel like i am all alone.... like the bathroom can need cleaning or laundry started or dishes to be put in the dishwasher and it is like no one will take it up on them selves to do anything... just leave it mom will do it.. and that makes me madder!! I have been in bed for 2 days with a migraine that wont go away just now feeling a bit better. did anyone do anything??? nope nothing. I am sorry i am going on and on about what makes me mad.... but anyway I am very sorry to hear about your boys and you not having any family support. i know i feel the guilt too, but its not like it is something we did to them like drugs...it is just hard.. but we all have each other to talk to and vent to and that helps....I will be praying for you
ERIN, i am sorry for your loss... maybe when the time is write it will work out and be a blessing... I am sorry to hear of the struggles with your son... even after all my "fussing" or venting, i know tomorrow is a new day and I thank GOD everyday for the good times and good days, for they get me through the bad ones. You are in my prayers.....GOD bless each of you

Erin,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through.

Our son is actually anxious about eating food. No joke. Not anorexia, but an overall disdain for eating. His behavioral therapist is helping us try to overcome it. Since he was two, he's been beyond picky and at eight, he eats only a few foods (we're talking only two options for lunch or dinner ... peanut butter crustless sandwich or grilled cheese), including zero fruits or vegetables. It's gotten worse over the years. If we dare to put fruits or vegetables on his plate, he runs upstairs and won't eat anything. It's hard enough to get him to eat the foods on his "ok" list. He earns his Nintendo time now by eating his meals and some days he just refuses and gladly goes to bed without dinner. We concluded a long time ago this has nothing to do with his medication. We had luck the first few days with the therapists strategies, but then our son figured out we were tricking him and now we're back to square one. He's not gaining weight, so we're under a lot of pressure to get him to eat. People would think we're nuts as we push fatty foods at him: "Come on, eat a few more chips ..."

Thanks again for all of the comments here. I'm sorry others do feel like I do ... I guess I'm not too shocked, but hope we all someday can look back at these hard days and reflect on how far our kids have come.

I have been seriously considering going to talk to someone myself. Just when i think we have my son under control he goes through another phase of very bad behavior at school. He's been pretty decent at home for the past year until recently (he's 13). Lately he's been very hateful towards me and believes that I am making him go to therapy and take meds just to control his life. he has been saying stuff like he wants to be dead and things would be easier for us if he weren't around. I have been getting chest pains and think it is anxiety and I too can't remember the last time I was truly happy. I don't think that I can knowing how unhappy my son is. Today has been bad, 3 emails from teachers complaining about his behavior and a couple of incidences from last week, one resulting in an out of school suspension. Sigh! I don't know how else to help him and I can't afford to lose it myself at this point. My husband works a ton of hours too and he just wants me to 'fix' it. I don't know how. Now I feel like crying. :-(

Hang in there. I am happy to hear that I am not the only parent struggling with this problem. I don't anyone can truly understand to they live 24 7 with a child with ADHD. I would love to fin someone to talk to that is empathic and not judgemental. Life with an ADHD is very difficult. I am now on medication to cope with the stress. I have always been a pretty ahppy person but everyday is so full of stress. I think my marriage is being effected and I hate that. hang in there know that you are not alone with this struggle.

Wow. To everyone who commented here I am really just ..don't even know how to word it. I really have been thinking I am going crazy lately because I just can't seem to get it together. I just told my husband last night I don't know what happened to me. Last year, which was the hardest year ever because he was gone, I had everything in order. The house, followed schedules like clockwork, bills, I was walking 2 hrs a night on my treadmill, and so much more. Now it seems I can;t keep the house clean, there is never enough time in the day, I can;t stick ro my own schedules, and i have not stepped on my treadmill since October 2010. I forget everything if I don't write it down...I said to him last night, if there is only one word to describe how I am feeling these days it is "overwhelmed". I am not glad you are all going through these things, I wish none of us were, but reading these posts just lifted such a load off of me. I really thought it was just me failing to do my job. Cawriter,,,I too can relate to just everything going wrong at the same time. My Dad might lose his job, he already lost his medical insurAnce and my Mom has epilepsy so that was a nightmare trying to find an affordable clinic. She is too young for Medicare and too sick to work. Mother in law is in and out of hospital, my little brother was having some issues that we thought his MS was resurfacing,,,thank God it doesn't seem to be the case. I guess I could go on and on, but it is very hard to just breathe at times. My migraines have been on a daily basis which is #1 indicator I am stressed. I will pray for you and I hope you start feeling better. God bless and thanks for sharing.

I can totally relate....a few weeks ago I asked my doctor to prescribe me an anti-depressant because I feel like all I do is yell and cry. I'm beyond frustrated, but glad to know I'm not the only one. Best of luck to you.

So sorry so many others are going through rough times, too. It really is great to have this board to feel less alone about it, though.

Here's hoping for a good weekend for all of us!

You're not alone! My son isn't diagnosed yet, but shows ALL the signs of ADHD and ODD. I'm a single mother, with two other children as well, and with the issues I've been facing with my son, I've literally broken down and cried so hard I honestly couldn't move. I was on my hands and knees in the kitchen floor, cleaning up his latest mess... and just lost it... stayed there for a good 5 minutes, unable to move or do anything other than cry my eyes out... I then realized, that his condition, is not just HIS condition... it's taken a toll on me as well. I'm making arrangements for him to see a behavioral specialist to get HIM on the right track, and I'm also going to make an appointment with our family doctor for myself. It's not your fault, and it's not the childs fault either, but we are all only human hun, and it is perfectly fine to seek a little help with the challenges of raising an ADHD (and/or ODD) child... there's nothing shameful in that whatsoever. I do not and will never see a problem seeking help for anything, that will in anyway help you (or myself) be a better parent, or person in general. Stay strong sweetie... I know it's hard, but there is hope :)

I suffer from depression myself and although I feel I have a good handle on it, my son's behaviors surely press me to my limit. One week doesn't go by when I don't break down in tears...it's simply HARD and it doesn't get better ..it takes so much time to see the results of being that patient, structured parent, that I sometimes feel so helpless. Keep your head up...you are not alone and if you out of control of your life, seeking help is the best things you can do.

thanks for sharing. one the reasons I wanted to join this group is because I have been dealing with the same feelings. I will be praying for us all. If anyone has any suggestions for a mom who feels slightly overwhelmed I am listening

Have a marvelous day
K

I hear you all. It's so tough to not get so worn down by the constant difficulties. I have gone for help and was also diagnosed with ADHD. It's something that you may want to consider at the very least, getting it ruled out. It is genetic, and I forget what the percentage is exactly, but it's pretty likely that one or both of the parents of children with ADHD, may also have it. Just something to consider, since getting treatment would help you. I also have general anxiety which of course doesn't help, but at least controlling the ADHD lessens my anxiety. Now that it's getting nice out here on the east coast, I try to get outside as much as I can to enjoy the peacefulness of the outdoors. I have to take a little "me" time, even if it's only 5 minutes(which it normally is lol). Soothing music also helps me to calm down. It's such a roller coaster of emotions that can just wipe me out, so I HAVE to find what relaxes me. Ladies, you have to take care of YOU too. I know you probably don't have anymore "spare" time than I do, but even 5 minutes helps. I have 3 kids-my 7 yo daughter has adhd, a workaholic hubby, and most days I feel like I'm just barely hanging on. It's nice to know that there is some support and understanding. Hope you all have a wonderfully PEACEFUL weekend ;-)

Hi Everyone: I am new to this site and I am so glad that I can relate to so many of these ladies with the same problems regarding my 4 1/2 year old son that has just been diagnosed with ADHD. It breaks my heart to see him like this and my son is now starting medication. I also have another 2 sons who are 3 1/2 and 2 years of age and as you can imagine it is very busy. I feel very stressed most days and I feel my marriage suffers as well... Trying to remain calm.