I can understand some of your hesitancy. We are not African American, but come from a very well educated family. Several PhD's, accountants, engineers, medical professionals, etc. My husband has had a hard time believing that there was something wrong with his son. It took 2 years to get him to acknowledge it, but when we finally went to our pediatrician who diagnosed our son with ADHD it was almost like a relief, because I had suspected that he was not like other kids for a while. We started with the Daytrana patch and then moved to Concerta after the adhesives were causing too much irritation with the patch. The medication was the best thing that we have done and also the scariest. It doesn't fix everything of course. I am a nurse, so share some of your concerns about what I would and wouldn't do for my own child. It has become clear that my son has a pretty severe case of ADHD and frankly, he is not tolerable without his medication by anyone other than my husband and myself. HIs grandparents even ask if he's taken his medication before we come over. They are older and can't handle the hyperactiveness. It may take a while to find the right medication, and it may mean more than one medication. The only things that have worked for my kiddo is combining Concerta with Remeron and Strattera. The Strattera was not enough by itself but keeps him at an even keel emotionally. The Concerta helps with the middle of the day and focusing at school. The Remeron helps with appetite and letting him settle down to go to sleep at night and come off of the stimulants. He didn't gain wait at all for the first 18 months we were on stimulants, but that is not true of all kids, so that is why we have added the Remeron. You could see my sweet boy's ribs, and I wanted him to wear a swim shirt for more than protecting his skin. I didn't want everyone to judge what we were having to do to help my son function. He is still immature, and plays better with younger kids, but is very bright and in the GT class. We are also having him tested for learning disabilities, because I suspect dysgraphia or some similar executive function disorder. School has been a struggle for him, but meds were definitely the right first step. His reading level jumped 8 levels the next 6 weeks and he started to make some close friends. Hang in there and feel free to post with questions. Soon, you'll be the one giving advice!

Also, I highly recommend finding SOMEone that you can talk to, even if you aren't ready to disclose to your best friend yet. It really does help to talk about it with someone else who has been where you have been.

I am a 29 f just diagnosed 8months ago. Medication has changed my life. I feel like I have been cheated out of years of achieving in school and in work because my symtoms were never recognized. But think of it this way, if your child had a cold, you probably wouldn't deny him medication. Our mental heath is the same way. Some of us are just built differently and need to take care of ourselfves differently in order to function productivly like everyone else does. It's not a bad thing, and i understand your concerns. Get involved in educating yourself on mental health, there is an ADD.org website where u can join to spread awarness on add and find treatment options. The best you can do is be in the know. I think it was brave of you to decide to medicate your child considering your fears. I wish my mom had done that for me.

Thank you deknee and kfogerty1680 for your feedback. I agree that you have to do what it takes for your child (or yourself) to function even if everyone else doesn't understand. I can totally understand feeling like you would be judged if someone saw your child's slimness and questioned your medication decision, deknee. I often think about what my son will say one day if I didn't get him the medication he needs, especially since I am more educated about mental health needs than most people. I know that these are real concerns.

This is such an emotional issue. Sometimes using medication is the right decision. The question is what is going to happen in the long run?

It seems that you already have a solid foundational base developed for your son: sleep, proper hydration & nutrition, support, love and structure at home.

What else could be a part of this picture?

My own family has been in denial stages over the years and fortunately many of them have over come some initial blocks to learn more and to more fully work together to support those in the family experiencing learning challenges.

It is my opinion that the each family has to explore all of their options and do their best to learn from their decisions. I don't believe in one approach fits all.

Having spent 7 years in a research lab I am well aware of many of the pros and cons of the research game.

And as a result I am a huge advocate of consumer research. The fact that you have already put so much time in effort in your pursuit to support your son is admirable.

There are many more cost effective resources out there to explore at some point.

Thank you so much for your feedback Mindsyncus. I agree that a "multi-modal" approach is best. As a matter of fact, the research shows that if you just use medication and make no other changes for your child with attention issues, after 3 years there will no noticeable improvement in terms of academics or social relationships. I am actually looking at medication as a short-term solution or aid to help him and us while we set up more extensive interventions. For instance, I think neurofeedback would be a great thing for him, but we have to plan for a while to be able to afford it. I think if he was involved in Karate or Tae Kwon Do, as well as something really active outdoors, several days a week, it would make a big difference. We have him on b-ball team that practices once a week, but I think his symptoms would decrease with even more outdoor exercise. We also want to supplement his medication with more natural stimulants (like Attend, possibly coffee, but I'm still researching). I think I will start a post about this and see what natural things others have tried that works.

Great! I will look forward to your own post.

The book, Disconnected Kids, includes many at home exercises.