ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
Son 21 is ADHD has refused meds since age 14 ( Dad told him that meds would leave him with stigma of being crazy) He is verbally abusive manipulating,, had to come home as he has no where else to go. I've tried to set boundaries, tried everything. If I tell him to redo something he did wrong, he goes off screaming ranting and raving, calling me names. He will not take responsibility for anything he took change out of change jar something he's been told is off limits, and when called out on it ,it is somehow my fault.
I took him to emergency mental health Friday as he went off deep end started shaking and crying, I told him that he had to go if he was going to stay here, He went they gave him meds which he hasn't taken,
At my wits end, his Dad is not in the picture, I cry almost ever day since he came home, I love him but am miserable and falling apart.
Do I make him leave? what do I do?
I took him to emergency mental health Friday as he went off deep end started shaking and crying, I told him that he had to go if he was going to stay here, He went they gave him meds which he hasn't taken,
At my wits end, his Dad is not in the picture, I cry almost ever day since he came home, I love him but am miserable and falling apart.
Do I make him leave? what do I do?
Your situation is a very tough one, and not one I feel competent to answer. I would consider getting myself some counselling and maybe your son might join you? (I wouldn't count on it though)
Try to take care of yourself and keep us posted.
Have you gone to therapy yourself to get help for you to learn to deal with him.
I personally would lay down the law, have a frank discussion about what about his behavior you have a problem with. Make up the rules he is going to have to live by.
Then tell him that he needs to take his meds for a certain amount of time, six weeks maybe 10 weeks. Then revisit the differences you do or do not see.
If its more his temper I would be looking into other diagnosis than ADHD like ODD.
(((HGUS)))
Call the police, this is a very dangerous domestic situation. He will hurt you physically. He will let go of himself internally and the situation will elevate. Tell your son he cannot be in or around you until he takes his meds. Period. Will he be homeless? possibly, but its when life presses on us that our survival instincts kick in.
I am ADD and I have family members who are ADHD. I come from a loving family but we became that way in spite of my father being narcissistic, mentally ill, and horribly manipulative. Mom left him when I was 12 and my step father was a yeller and dry alcoholic. My brother just had to tell his 15 year old to move out of the house because of his behavior which sounds alot like your son.
So, my advice doesnt come from a person who sits on her little laptop and tells the world what they should do. My whole family has lived thru and in bad stuff. Your son either doesnt know what to do or doesnt want to do what he needs. But he will accidentally allow his temper to hurt someone so bad, he will be in jail for life. I say again...He doesnt know what to do...but you do...