ADHD / ADD Support Group

Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.

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How To Help My Boyfriend Calm Down

countrygirllovin2011
countrygirllovin2011
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2 months, and he & I believe that we're soul mates. I found out through a mutual friend of ours that he has ADHD, but his guardian wont let him take any medication for it. He is in karate which helps to a point, but when we're out with friends or something, he is really hyper & I dont know what I should do. Normally, I'll ask him to just calm down && he will, until someone instigates him...I have seen that he gets in trouble alot because his great-aunt, (that he lives with,) doesnt really know how to handle it...I really never bring up his ADHD because I've seen other people with it and they're embarrassed about it, but Im not really sure about what I should do to help him minimize his energy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Kudos to you for seeking input on this and wanting to help your boyfriend and subsequently the potential your relationship might have. Exercise for me is part of the equation. It helps immensely. Upping those endorphins has a dramatic and nearly immediate effect but they are fleeting. I can ride the high for a few hours but then I'm back to ADHD me. Once I began taking meds I calmed down a bunch (keep in mind I've been on the meds for only a week). To be honest I do miss the hyper aspects of my brain. Most notabley the creative thoughts I'd have and how my somewhat upbeat and hyper personality which often rubbed off on others. I was a joy to be around for anyone looking to have a good time because I was moderately hyper, animated and enthusiastic all the time and kept everyone entertained and on their toes.

My advice would be to talk to him and see if he might give the medication a try. I am not a huge fan of cognitive therapy alone.

Careful though, the personality change might be dramatic. It is for me. I'm still not sure how people will perceive me now that I've calmed down a lot. In fact I'm actually worried because I was riding a somewhat different personality for 38 years. The effect can be life changing to say the least.
countrygirllovin2011
countrygirllovin2011
thank you(: but his great-aunt that has custody of him wont let him have the medication because shes afraid it'll mess with him, and honestly I dont blame her...there's too many side effects and things that could happen...Im on medication myself for an auto-immune disease and the side effects for that scares me...i cant even imagine what he would be like...and another reason Im afraid for him to have it is a point that you brought up...I dont think I would be able to handle him with a different personality...but thank you for all of your advice :)