I think you did the right thing as a parent. I have the same problem with my 8yr old son; however my son isn't on medication right now. When I am working with my 3yr old daughter on abc's or numbers, ect...my son is always interrupting and being a "pain" It is hard to stay calm in that situation. But if you were to take him out of that situation you would have been giving in, your son might look at it as having the upper hand. ADHD may be a disorder but it is not a complete excuse for a child's "attitude" and behavior. I honestly know how you feel though, it can be hell!

Thanks so much for your kind response. That's how I felt about things -- that all of us leaving punished his sister and said he's in control. But then I wondered if letting him get away with hurting me in public was a wise move.

I appreciate you perspective on this. And best of luck with your own son -- Michelle

As long as you know that he wasn't going to get away with hurting you in public it doesn't matter much what the "other parents" think. I honestly would make sure that as soon as your daughters game was over there would be a punishment. Whether it waited till you got home or talked about as soon as you got to your vehicle. My son's psychiatrist told me that when punishing a child with ADHD not to make it about video games, ect...cause that is how my son works too! Instead to make it more about personal rewards, such as one on one time with mommy. I am not sure how it works exactly, I just figured Id pass it along. If you find it easier to reward or discipline using electronics let me know...lol And you are welcome!

We have also done the attention/family time thing as one of his consequences in the past, but what seems to work best is the DS time. Not always, but it motivates him, so the therapist is now encouraging us to use it.

After yesterday, he's been told he needs to be kind to me and follow the rules or the DS is getting sold. We'll see how long he's able to do that. We're giving some leniency due to the ADHD (for instance, not punishing him for running across the furniture because when the meds aren't working, he's out of control), but things iike not hitting are not negotiable.

Living with ADHD is hell. My son will soon be 16 and was diagnosed at 10. Every day is different. You think you have found the answer and then something else happens that you have to find a solution for. You are doing the right things. Keep the boundaries for him and make sure he knows what they are. Physically hurting someone (in my opinion)is never right for anyone. I also know it is sometimes difficult to figure out when they are "just being kids" and when it is the ADHD that you are working with. Being a parent of a child with ADHD is a full time job and can be so exhausting. Baby steps are the answer and positive reinforcement. I know sometimes that I get so caught up in what he is doing wrong that I forget to praise him on what he is doing right. Don't give up. Although I don't like the idea of medicating children unless necessary you might consider talking to your doctor about something that could be added to extend the length of time the medication works for him. I could go on and on but won't. Just know that you aren't alone. You will get there.

Thanks for the kind comments. I did finally talk to his psychiatrist's office yesterday and we're changing how we're giving him the booster dosage of Adderall. I hadn't been making him eat before taking it and turns out that's critical. Tried that yesterday and it helped a whole lot. His behavior was much, much improved. It still declined eventually, but not until dinner time. A more manageable day overall.

Hi CAWriter,
I have been there as well and it is very hard to just "Take" it when my daughter has gotten violent.(Almost 2 months since she has done this.) The last time she did that we were in the bank, she was fine smiling and saying hello to everyone. We walked outside the door and I am not joking she stood her ground and said "I want Daddy". Nothing was said prior, I didn't say anything to trigger her. I said ok well he's on the way home. She refused to budge and after I finally got her to the car she began yelling at me, she spit on me several times, she kicked and punched me for a while so I let her sit on the floor (I stood in front of her so a car wouldn't try to park next to me). She was screaming "I hate you" and go away.To this day I don't know what triggered it, but I had several people walk by. Some looked at me conerned, kind of like "What's wrong?", another pperson looked at me like get a grip on your kid, and this elderly lady looked at me like I was beasting HER up. I called my husband and had to wait about 20mins til he got there. I tried, but I couldn't help breaking into tears. Not loud, just couldn't stop. I am thinking someone will call child protection on me. I don't know if what I did was right, probably not, but it's done and I have to just think ahead now.There were consequences for her and the biggest thing that I feel worked was I told her I would not take her with me anywhere by myselfr anymore because she was hurting me and I would rather not have her get that way. After about 3 days she asked me if she could have mommy time, and I took her to the store. She kept telling me she won't throw a fit and she didn' t and I could see she struggled not to. We are the parents and we should be in control, but reality is we are human and we have feelings that make us feel embarassed, afraid, and even discouraged. I try every moment to lean on God's strength because I do not have the stength to take everything I have to deal with. My point is I think we all go through stages and we learn as we go. I have an 11yr old who does not have ADHD and if I say pick up your books she looks like I just stepped on her puppy. (lol) Anyways, God bless and try not to worry about others think. I have heard it all, like th ADHD is just gonna go away. God is good and I pray for your son and for you. :) Stay encouraged.

Thank you so much for your post. I'm so sorry to hear you've gone through the same type of thing, but it is helpful to know I'm not the only one.

And I know what you mean about having a child without ADHD. If we send our daughter to her room for time-out, she breaks down crying. She hates to think she's done anything wrong. The first time we ever sent her to time-out and she actually went, my husband and I were floored.

Hang in there! I hope your situation improves, too.

CAWriterMom- reading your post was like reliving a day in my life.. My son is 5 and he is on the highest dosage possible for his age and weight and it completely wears off mid day. Evening activities are always crazy. I have another son who is in swim class in the evenings and I need to make sure I bring lots of activities to keep my son busy but the littlest thing can set him off and it is just downhill from there. It's always difficult to go throgh meltdowns in public. No matter how calm you stay on the outside, it is so upsetting on the inside. I would have done the same thing you did. Our other children have to deal with the effects of ADHD enough that when we can, we should let them have their activities uninterupted other wise it just breeds resentment. This is something I'm dealing with my ADHD son's older brother. too often his life gets impacted due to his brothers issues. ADHD is hell, but it's forcing us to draw strength from places we didn't even know was possible. We just have to take it day by day...

We're having our first experience dealing with the issue of other siblings getting a raw deal because of the ADHD-kid's problems. My ADHD daughter (9 yo) was suspended from school yesterday and cannot return until tomorrow (another post). My younger daughter has a field trip today that I was supposed to chaperone, but now because older daughter is home I can't. She was okay with it, but it KILLS me because it's unfair for her and she loves having me come.

I think me explaining how this impacted her sister had some effect on older daughter, though. She kept trying to come up with ways for me to be able to go to the field trip. She's only 9, so leaving her home alone for several hours is out of the question and we really have no other alternatives.

We haven't had to deal with it to the extent that you have, but I often wonder how much my older daughter's problems have shaped my younger daughter's behavior. We call her the 'stepford' child because she goes above and beyond to be a good listener and follow instructions and be affectionate - she's the absolute polar opposite of her sister.