Sbcheli -- being an AML survivor, and expecting it to come back sooner or later (hopefully later), I am quite interested in your questions. Obviously I cannot answer them. I am thinking that there might not be anyone on this list that can -- but I hope I am wrong. I wanted to respond to you, however, just so you will know that you are not alone. Life on this earth has an end and we are all going to have to face it sooner or later. Most people just put it out of their minds, but that will not make it go away. The solution is to be prepared for it and in the right relationship with God and to just trust that He will take care of you. Thank you for your questions -- I am waiting with you for someone who might be able to respond. Take care -- dave

Thanks for writing, Dave. Dad is a Christian. I don't know if he's prepared for death because Mom doesn't want to talk about it and she's always around. I should probably just call his doctor to get more information about what's coming.

I'm glad that you are a survivor and hope you continue to do well.

You may want to consider taking turmeric supplements -- I truly believe that's what helped my dad hang on so long without chemo. We first discovered it in the book "How to Prevent and Treat Cancer with Natural Medicine, by Drs. Michael Murray, Tim Birdsall, Joseph Pizzorno, and Paul Reilly.

NOTE: There is a slight blood-thinning effect with turmeric, so when my dad's counts eventually got dangerously low, we took him off it. He declined much faster then, but it couldn't be helped.

Also M.D. Anderson Cancer Center did several studies on it. See http://www.mdanderson.org/education-and-research/research-at-md-anderson/early-detection-and-treatment/centers/center-for-targeted-therapy/archived/targeted-therapy-articles.html

and

http://www.mdanderson.org/newsroom/news-releases/2005/10-14-05-curcumin-halts-spread-of-breast-cancer-in-mice-news-release.html for more info.

And it prevents leukemia in children: http://www.webmd.com/cancer/news/20040909/foods-that-may-help-fight-childhood-leukemia

This one says curcurmin in turmeric temporarily stopped advanced pancreatic cancer:
http://www.mdanderson.org/publications/cancerwise/archives/2008-september/cancerwise-september-2008-curcumin-temporarily-slows-pancreatic-cancer.html

Here's another article: http://timesfreepress.com/news/2008/sep/03/packing-punch-taste-and-health-add-turmeric-your-d/

There's no toxicity and no side effects, except diarrhea in very high doses.

Dad took 300 mg a day.

I think I'll post this in another discussion as it might be helpful for others with this disease.

Good luck to you!

Barbara

sbcheli,

My mom died in October 2009 of AML (diagnosed Feb 2009) at age 62. First let me say I am impressed with your dad's overall strength - to be 88 years old, and a 4+ year survivor of this disease is pretty incredible. Just living to 88 means he's had a great run, no shame with that record! Depending on the variant, the average survival timeline after diagnosis for people over 60 is much lower - something like around the 7 months my mom lived.

In your situation, there is not a lot you can do regarding his wishes vis a vis your mom and her denial of his end-of-life approach. Death from AML, at the end, is pretty much the same as any other terminal illness (other cancers, congestive heart failure, etc.). My mom got tinier and tinier, quieter and quieter, drifted in and out of sleep states. The day before she died, she seemed to be relatively clear-headed, albeit very faint of voice. This was a few days after she stopped eating and drinking (this is to be expected). I asked her how she felt, and she said "like I have one foot in this world and one in the next". The next morning I visited her with my kids for what turned out to be the last time; I held up my BlackBerry so she could see pictures of the grandchildren she had never met (from a son she gave up for adoption in 1967 and met as an adult about 2 weeks before her death). I think that may have been the triggering event that allowed her to die, because about an hour and a half after I left with my kids, the nursing home called and told me she had passed.

At your point, it is hard to tell exactly how long he has to live. Probably between a few weeks and a couple of months. If he becomes continually bed ridden, hospice is good because they can make sure he is kept comfortable (you'd think hanging around in bed would be inherently comfortable, but not when you're immobile!) with minimal bedsores. At some point he will probably lose interest in food (my mom would "experiment" eating foods, and push them away eventually) and water. When you stop drinking, death is not that far away; probably no more than a day or two. Organ failure follows - renal failure (the nurses check the catheter bag and urine production goes from dark to zero) usually, then ultimately heart stops. There may be some apparent struggle at the very end - for breathe - but it is probably no more painful or surprising than birth is to a baby. The whole process seemed to me to be infancy and birth in reverse. I'm no fan of death - I think it sucks - but there is no denying I know more about it now than I did before.

As a general rule, people who are nearing the end of their life should be allowed to do it however they need to do it. At some point, it won't matter to your dad what your mom wants...dying is a lot of work to do "right", and he will be busy doing it as he needs to.

My final piece of advice is...don't try to predict when he will die. Just live in each moment, no matter what is going on. Once you accept the fact that he is dying (hey - we all are, right??) it actually becomes easier just to spend time with him. Each moment, each fluff of his pillow, watching him sleep, holding his hand, talking to him, listening to anything he wants to say - those are all precious opportunities.

Sbcheli -- yes, I very much appreciate your alternative suggestions -- I am making a list of them and expect at some point will have to take my best shot. Right now I am what they call NED -- no evidence of disease -- and so I am just counting on some vitamins to help me build up my stamina. I am at the low end of acceptable on my wbc, so need to be quite careful in what I take.

Dmyer -- I really appreciated your going through that with us. I was very much expected to be a seven month victim at the outset and was told that there was no real recourse. I pretty much rectified myself to it and made somewhat of an adjustment ... I remember saying -- we are all in God's hands and I might just outlive any of you. But it is a sobering event when you KNOW it is the end. That was before my son forced me to get a second opinion -- I was willing to accept it but he was not. Your review has given me great comfort -- you have to get these things first hand -- I am not going to believe what someone wrote in a book just to make people feel good. I appreciate all who are trying to help, but coming from you it means so much more. I cannot say how much I appreciate it -- I know it was tough to re-live these things. Take care -- dave

Dave,
When my dad's whites were low, I did some research and discovered these wbc boosters. I'm sorry I didn't keep the information as to where I found them, but you could probably find them by googling white blood cells and each substance. I only go to legitimate sites like M.D. Anderson, Mayo Clinic, WebMD, etc.

First, taking walks is good for whites. Also the following:
green tea
walking
broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, pumpkin, carrots, dark grapes, almonds
garlic
zinc
oleander extract
astragalus root
vitamin c
selenium
ginseng
echinacea
leucozepin

Hope that helps, and thanks for writing!

Hi dmeyer,

I so appreciated your candid and thoughtful reply. It gives me hope that the end won't be horrible but just kind of slowing down to a stop. It was also helpful to know some of the things to watch for that signal the end. Sometimes then you can notify loved ones to come to the bedside.

I appreciate your caring enough to continue to post, now that your mom has passed away. God bless.

Barbara

Barbara, Thanks so much for the information on nutritional supplements. Looks like my shopping list just got longer! I'm keeping an open mind, and consider anything 'natural' to be on the Must Try list! God Bless you in your support of your Fathers battle, I'll be saying many Prayers for both of you.

Thanks, Twangmaster. Hope you find something that helps. I'll pray for you too!

Interesting info. I have had problems with congestive heart failure along with my chemo. rounds, which confuse me and my loved ones. I appreciate the comments on diet and when to contact loved ones. Last year all my brothers and parents came to my side but I pulled through and plan to keep going as long as I can. Our bodies are amazing machines.
Keep the faith and we will keep praying for all of us.
Darla

Darla -- great to hear from you again -- hope you are doing well and I am saying a special prayer for you. I had some heart issues with the chemo on my consolidation rounds. Seemed like it triggered afibs and these particular episodes seemed to make my BP go very low. Generally afibs are no big problem. On the other hand, congestive heart failure is a major issue. I hope and pray you can hold up to complete your chemo. Take care -- dave

dlkota,

Do your blood counts get terribly low? My dad, who had no heart trouble at all before leukemia, has now suffered a heart attack. His doctor said that when your blood counts are low your heart has to pump harder, and that's why he had a heart attack. That's why you want to have a transfusion before your counts get too low.

Good luck to you!