Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML) Support Group
Acute myelogenous leukemia (AML), also known as acute myeloid leukemia, is a cancer of the myeloid line of blood cells. Patients with AML usually present with symptoms such as fatigue, bleeding, infection, prompting medical attention. An abnormal blood test reading will then result in further testing in a hospital with a hematologist to determine AML.
Dear all,
As I am approaching the end of my planned treatment (induction and 3 consolidation chemo rounds), I will go back to my "normal" life, after 4+ months that I basically spent hospitalized.
And these days, when side effects are better, and I am in isolation, I wonder what will change in my life after this (while always being aware that relapse can happen, and hoping it doesn't).
If I was dealt this unfortunate card, I feel like there are things I can learn and change in my life, in my priorities, the way I think, appreciate, interact, take care of myself, and probably more.
I would love to hear from you, what do you feel you have learned in and from your AML journey? What have you changed in your life? What do you feel has changed?
Thank you! And a happy Holiday Season!
Abby2
As I am approaching the end of my planned treatment (induction and 3 consolidation chemo rounds), I will go back to my "normal" life, after 4+ months that I basically spent hospitalized.
And these days, when side effects are better, and I am in isolation, I wonder what will change in my life after this (while always being aware that relapse can happen, and hoping it doesn't).
If I was dealt this unfortunate card, I feel like there are things I can learn and change in my life, in my priorities, the way I think, appreciate, interact, take care of myself, and probably more.
I would love to hear from you, what do you feel you have learned in and from your AML journey? What have you changed in your life? What do you feel has changed?
Thank you! And a happy Holiday Season!
Abby2
So things I learned:
1. Take each day as it comes.
2. Stay positive. Think of at least one good thing that happened each day and focus on that.
3. You can live with your heart breaking over and over again. Each day without my daughter broke my heart.
4. You become as strong as you need to be. Until you face things, you don't realize how strong you can be, if people asked me a year ago if I could handle leukemia, chemo, transplant, gvhd, I would have said no way, but I have.
5. To rely on God for everything. I would not have made it through all the hospital stays without His strength.
Those are just a few of things I have learned.
Abby
1. Take the time to take care of you first, then others if you're able. You might not be able to be or do what you did for others before, and that's OK. It's time to focus on what you need to stay healthy and strong. It's not selfish to focus on you right now.
2. Make decisions based on what you think you might regret in 10 years. As a caregiver, that's how I made most decisions around anything involving my sister this past year. Will I one day regret it if I do/don't do it??? I can honestly say that I have no regrets hanging over my head from this past year. None. It is a treasure I wouldn't trade for anything else!
Congratulations on nearing the end of your treatments! I will continue to pray for you for a full and complete recovery!
--Gloria
Thank you for your insightful replies.
Dave - my thought exactly is - I don't want to forget, I want to be able to live my life, while incorporating the new learnings and insights. I am sure it's not easy, since it's so easy to go back to the routine.
Gloria - the two things you say are very true for me too. Taking care of myself is something totally new to me. And one of the things I thought about at the beginning of this journey, when I was very afraid for my life, is about regrets. And I was happy to find I had none. And I hope to remember to live my life without them from now on too.
Abby - there's so much in what you say about living each day and about strength and power.I really relate to it and hope to remember it beyond treatment time.
Abby2
Also, facing one's own mortality is an effective method to try to distill what is truly esssential in life, from the mundane (how much attention I gave to hair in the past) to the important (the time with my family). This is something I think I will continually wrestle with for the rest of my life. What is really important? How should I spend my time and energy? How I think about these questions and my answers will never be the same after AML.
Yes, if were asked whether or not we thought we could deal with what we've been through, we may have said 'NO!". I sure would have said NO!!! But, here we are, and in many ways stronger because of it.
Therese
I will definitely change my perspective.
This last one has been one thing after the other, and about a week ago, while having zero neutrophils, I got a speedy-fast violent pneumonia.
It's been a week and due to a combination of amazing care and luck, I am:
1. Alive (not an obvious thing...)
2. Breathing on my own without oxygen
3. Still in pain but apparently off the danger zone.
For me, I am still digesting the experience. One thing for sure, until a week ago I thought that even the worst case scenario with AML gives one time to prepare. I didn't really imagine something can happen that's violent and swift and can be immediately life-threatening.
I think I got yet a new perspective for life. And a new appreciation for each moment, that I hope I carry with me.
According to "plan", I should have been home by now, past my last treatment. I'll still be home, it'll just take a little longer. But still, wow, how things can change in a moment.
Abby2