One question to carers and people who have had to deal with the Hair loss, is how to actually deal with it.

Mum is not vain but has found this to be the most traumatic thing,

I know that sounds vain, but she also doesn't like to be the centre of attention and she feels that because she has got up and dressed and tried to be as normal as possible its like everyone now knows that she has cancer.

I try my best to help out, we had an afternoon learning to tie scarfs but she is still finds it upsetting. Obviously she has and is dealing with it but any light refreshing stories would be appreciated.

So glad treatment has been going well so far!

Yes, hair-loss is very tough. And it's not at all about being vain. So she shouldn't think it is. First off, it's such a symbol of cancer. So it's really like holding a sign to the world "I have cancer".
For me, as for many others (and I assume it's tougher for women than for men), it was one of the hardest things to deal with during the first month of treatment. I shaved my hair once it started falling. And it started growing again quite fast, since it's only induction (first round) that causes hair-loss.

I wore a wig outside of the hospital. I had a really good one made, and people who didn't know, could never tell. For me it meant being able to blend in and not attract attention. It also meant I don't need to deal with looks, I am not advertising my illness to the world, I can retain my privacy and share only with whoever I chose to.

Would she wear a wig? I only wore one for about 3-4 months. Hair grown back, and in my case it grew nicer than it ever was. :-)

I tried scrafs and hats but didn't like the look. It looked like a cancer patient with a hat...So I totally know how your mom feels.

Abby

Thanks Abby for responding. It was hard for her to actually describe to us exactly how it made her felt, as it just made her very upset. I could only think of it from my point of view and I just don't think I would shave my head to make her feel better which means it must be pretty hard.

Thank you for letting me know that this is actually quite normal. She has never been a hat type of person, actually thought they didn't suit her, so this + the scarf have been annoying her.

I have suggested the wig, but maybe I will try it again. What you mentioned about being private is exactly how she wants to be

I feel lucky that people here are willing to help & share their experience

xx

Hi

I hated the stage where the hair was falling out,I constantly felt dirty. I would have a shower and come out clean yet when I dried my hair I would have hair falling all over me. Also I couldnt stand hair on my pillow. I got my husband to clip my hair and initially my family thought it was best to wait a bit longer as I still had plenty of hair. For me I much prefered to get rid of it and get battle ready.It symbolised my fight. I felt liberated once it was gone and felt much cleaner. i think, for me,the process of it falling out was the worst.
I never wore a wig. I had plenty of hats but felt much better just going with a bare head. I didnt really go out much during my treatment so it was only my family and friends that saw me and there was nothing to hide from them.

I think you just need to go with what your mum is comfortable with.

Lisa

Thanks Lisa she also is not liking the falling out part .... She lost about 75% andtheN it stopped

Xxx they say round two it will all go

Firstly let me say that your Mum is lucky to have you looking out for her. Secondly I think I am we'll qualified to answer, I have lost my hair 3 and a half times (2nd induction it only thinned by half!). It is great that your Mum is in remission!! First stage over!

The first time I had a wig, it was winter and I just wanted things to be as normal as possible, i did get a bit paranoid about people knowing and if it was on straight. 2nd time it was summer and I went with scarves and cotton beanies with a scarf around. 3rd time was spring and I went with scarf and cap or hat during the day and scarf at night. Perhaps get your mum enrolled in the Look Good Feel Better workshop, they go through make up, scarves, wigs, and hats. I thought it was great, if the timing works out. It is very hard as a woman I think to not have hair. The first time I had hypnotherapy to get over the anxiety I had about losing it, it worked I think but I still absolutely hated it. I found satin pillowcases reduced the hair on your pillow significantly and not to wash it too often as most comes out when you wash it. Comb with a wide tooth comb, less hair comes out. I just used a headband to push away from my face and then didn't need styling. I can recommend a wig place if you like, the lady that runs it had also had chemo so knows what your mum is going through, offers suggestions and can trim it to suit also.

I am in Perth also (i think you said in another post your Mum was here) and would be more than happy for you to message me if you think your Mum might like to talk to someone who's been through it (a couple of times!). I seems usual to go home in between consolidation treatments but I found it scary being home with no white cells, just be careful what she is exposed to and wear a mask if you go out amongst people.

Hoping this helps and please let me know if I can help anymore.

Nicole

thank you sooo much Nicole. You are right she is in Perth, currently having to stay at Crawford Lodge due to being from Margaret River and not really having a home to go to (as the doctors say she has to stay in Perth).

Is a little scary being out whilst the counts are going down and whilst friends have offered being in there home she feels better not being in contact with many people.

Sorry about you hair loss, but im glad that it is a common feeling and letting her know that will hopefully make her feel a little better. I will see if I can book her into the Look good feel better workshop and if you have the wig persons name that would be great and I will see if I can get her to go along :)

I will see if she would like to have a chat with someone, thank you very much for the offer .... she is a little funny on these types of things, but I think its heathly to be able to speak to someone in the know.

xxxx

I tried to hold on to my hair as long as possible. But my shoulder length hair was all over the place. The nurses left the room with their booties full of hair. All over my pillow... well we all get the picture. I finally shaved it off and was done with it. After a short period of time I felt it very liberating. I couldn't go out in the public much and when I did it was a hat or scarf. As soon as I walked through the door it was off and I went with the bare head. My family and friends got used to seeing me that way. Just have never like anything on my head. My 3 year old granddaughter wanted to know who took my hair. And let me know they would not be taking hers. She is quite a pistal. I assured her it was the medicine I was taking to get better. She let me well know she would not be taking that medicine either. But after she made it known that she would have no part of the hair thing, she adjusted to it quite well.
What is so ironic to me is that I have always been very careful with the way I dress, makeup, hair...etc. But once I got used to the bald head, I didn't bother me. I didn't bother with makeup either. No eye lashes or eyebrows. Why bother. I kind of liked it after awhile.
Blessings to you both,

lily

thanks Lily, its lovely that people are taking the time to let me know there experiences :) I am passing on all these to mum :) xxx

Aussiemum,
I didn't like the pulling sensation as my hair fell out. I have lost my hair twice now. It's now coming back, but I am getting chemo and expect it to thin.
The bald head was quite bothersome to me, truth be told. My head was cold too! When it first came back all gray, it was worse than having no hair, but I got over it knowing this was the least of my worries. I have even had to go back to wearing glasses instead pf my contact lenses since I am frequently neutropenic.
I bought a wig, but rarely wore it. My young daughter bought me some very cool scarves and I had some friends pick me up some silk scarves. My favorites were from friends that had cancer and were happy to give me their scarves - that was cool and a show of solidarity.
Prayers for your mum and you,
Andrea

thanks Andrea. When mum was losing it quite a bit she also had that feeling of it being really sore like it was pulling, she didn't like that either :)

Andrea I got at cold head too, its amazing how your neck also gets so cold when it is usually covered. I also had hot flushes so the cotton beanies I wore around home came off and on constantly. Lily how liberating for you but I could never go with the bald head in the company of others or outside home. I actually wore more makeup to make up for not having hair, a way of looking 'pretty' even though I didn't feel it. I found a scarf with cap made me look the most 'normal' but I couldn't do that at all the time. I found the cotton beanies with a scarf around it was a good fit (especially in hospital with just the beanie) or silk scarves my friend bought for me. There's a good website in the US I bought from too but I can't remember the name, excellent delivery for half way around the world! My daughter was not happy I've lost my hair so many times, she is very happy it is the longest it has been in 5 years, a short bob style.

Aussiemum I have messaged you with the wig details.

Nicole

And when you walk outside and it's cold or windy you freak out and think what is going on with my head!! I will never forget that first feeling. I have usually a massive thick head of wavy italian hair and being bald has freaked me out. If only because it just immediately reminds me I have cancer.

It's easier for men. So many men are bald anyway so you can fit right in without feeling like you are carrying a sign over your head.

Sending support to all. I hear this new drug I am on (Like Bozzi) makes it all come in grey. eyebrows eyelashes...everything. WOW. gonna have to wait and see what that is like.

Ed

It makes you feel 'old'. lol

thank you everyone .... all the stories are making it easier for her to know that her feeling are not weird

xxx