Hi Dave, Cliff, all mates here.
Dave. you are right in both kind of pain, but what hurts most is emotional pain, which comes from time to time. Thanks for your words, extensive to Ciff's words too. I usually stay calm and happy, and Im quite sure Ive not relapsed, at least for this day that is all I have (tomorrow is always a dream). The hardest emotional pain comes from the past experiences, mostly. Ive been on therapy; my therapist is also a medical doctor and she became psycologist later on. She said once I had kind of "post traumatic stress " or so, because of the way I knew I had leukemia without having any signs, and by reading an email. And because of what happened after first chemo. Thats why it is so difficult to share and post.... Im not able by the time being, to walk in front of the hospital room where I stayed for 20 days after my first chemo and where I fight for my life so hard. I get mad when I walk by the souvenir little shop inside the hospital with little pillows, dolls, cards, saying "get well soon". I was so mad when diagnosed, thinking... OMG if a doll could save my life... if a souvenir were what we need to live... so I HATE walking in front of that souvernir store and I have to do it everytime I go to my onc doctor's consultory.

So, as you see, pain in my heart, from the past, is still alive.... I prefer to let it stay and just ask God to take it away, because talking about it seems to make things worse

And phisical pain, yes, but not so important......my left wrist, it hurts so much after too much movement like writing. It looks like tendinitis, inflammation and tenderness comes and goes, some little"balls" show up and hide. The biggest concern is: is it another type of cancer? But in Spain the took a glance on it and said nothing to worry about... I know I have to go to the orthopedic doc but keep delaying it.... Im tired of going to docs....

Thanks to all of you for your kindness and concern.

S

Shimauta:

OK -- this helps quite a bit. I know there are many on this forum that have similar types of issues, but not nearly as pronounced. Hopefully they will jump in but I think they are slow to respond due to the holidays. My main thought is that this is a temporary thing -- it seems severe at this point and is quite painful to you. But I think you should take comfort in the fact that as time goes by your feelings will not be extreme as they are now. Of course, I am not a psychologist and do not pretend to give that type of advice, but I know in my own life there have been things that I felt I could never tolerate that sort of melted in the noon day sun, so to speak. For example, I was once extremely fearful of just having a blood test. The very thought of an IV was petrifying. When I saw people pushing their IV machines around the clinic, I was appalled. Well, after six rounds of chemo, now I just tell them to bring it on! I do not give it a second thought. I know this might not be too comparable, but many things in life are like this. The further away from them we get in time the less effect they have on us.

I have a friend who has post traumatic stress syndrome, and this is indeed a very real thing that tends to arise from time to time and plague him. I do not mean to minimize your problem in any way -- this is a very real problem. He fond that writing about it helped -- he actually wrote a small book type manuscript. I feel that your writing on this forum here is going to help, and I am sure that there will be others who will have suggestions as well.

Please keep us up on how you are doing. I will note that you are chemo only and other than myself, there are only a few others on this forum. I feel that it is a viable alternative to transplants, but I always advise people to go with what their medical teams recommend. But it will be good for you to be here as another example of a chemo only survivor. Take care -- dave

It's been almost 3 years since my SCT,I get anxiety every time I have to go back to DR for a check up,I started out with MDS,they told me i had 5 years if it converted to AML,I was in remission for 5 months, my nephew suddley died,i went for a reg blood draw,it's was my daughter birthday we were going to celebrate,DR.said you got go to hospital now ,I was full blow AML,I spent 25 days in the hospital,Inreally though my # was up had over 30 pints of blood,since i had no family match,i was refered to Vanderbilth Hospital,them and the grace of God sent me a mircle,one guy in 7 million people match me,and he followed thru,today I feel almost good as new my donar was 25,I tell my husband I getting younger.

It is wonderful that your transplant has been a success. How are you feeling right now? Do you have any issues with GVHD? Was the transplant process difficult for you? Congratulations on defeating this terrible monster of a disease and best of luck in the future.

Marie,

Congratualtions. Making it to 3 years is a very important milestone. I think you can put all of this behind you and live a happy and healthy life.

Wonderful!

Cliff

Marie:

Wow -- that is GREAT!!!! You are doing so well, and that is just an inspiration to all who are reading. I will be three years (officially) on Jan. 1st, since that is when I started counting, but for all intents and purposes, I am three years now. I also had MDS. Anyone out there -- if they tell you that MDS is the end, just don't believe them. They say there is no cure for it, but it fears chemo. Also, I have a sneaking suspicion that there is no definitive DX for it, so those of us who have it may not really have it. We will let the med folks worry about that -- we are too busy living. Let's all give thanks that the med people know what they know, by the grace of God, of course. Happy New Year Marie -- dave

Hi Everyone,
I would just like to tell you that my mum, after the second round of chemo, is finally in remission. We are so happy and relieved that she finally made it to this stage. The doctor is planing a transplant at the beginning of January. I pray to God that all the procedure will be successful, and she will be soon recovering from this ordeal.
I wish the same to all of you here and may we share only good results in this forum.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of you! May you celebrate many more years with your loved ones!
Hona

Hona -- congratulations!!!! Such good news in this season of joy and new beginnings. We will be praying for her, but now we take some time to be thankful. She may still be neutropenic, so please be sure not to let down your guard and keep up all of the precautions. -- dave

It is a great news Hona. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your Mom. May God bless you both.

My husbsnd 80 years young has just been told he has aml and that there is no cure to old for transplant Dr. said few months to a year.
Also said it is very progressive. what can we expect in the next few month. We are christians and know that God is in control but we are
scared to think of the future.

Peg, Im sorry to hear about your husband. Are they treating him at all ? Im not a doctor, but, age when your diagnosed is a deciding factor on treatment. At 80 he probably wouldn't be able to handle the chemo that's required for transplant. Does he have any other health issues ?

As far as what to expect is kinda hard to call, AML effects everyone differently and how fast. Honestly you should talk to the doctor about this since everyones case is different. I don't want to paint a picture for you and be wrong. You can research it on the internet but I would suggest only reading on reliable sites, theres a lot of info out there but you have to understand EVERYONE is different so don't take what you read in stone. God bless you and your family, just remember God is always by your side and he will take care of you no matter the outcome.

Dear Peg,
I am so sorry, your husband has AML. I thank God, you have your faith.
The Lord has directed you to many wonderful people on this forum. You will realize that; when you receive responses to all your questions.
I know for sure, there is a thread written by Heather for alternative therapies for AML. Heather has VERY ENCOURAGING which may help you, please check out that thread.
There is so much hope, let your husband know we are praying for him, for The Lord to give him all the strength he needs.
My husband has AML, he is 64 and a half years young.(That half makes a difference to him)
Sandra.

Peg,

I too am sorry to hear about your husband and the limited possibilities for treatment. As Sandra said, Heather has some very good alternative therapies that seem to help a great deal. You should read her posts. In the meantime, my thoughts go out to both of you. Be STRONG!

Cliff

Peg:

Welcome to this forum -- you cannot find better and more knowledgeable people anywhere else, as far as I know. We appreciate your coming here and please feel free to ask any question and we will see how we might help you.

I too recommend that you look at the "alternative treatments" thread -- Heather's dad was only given weeks to live and now, a year later he is still doing well. Please consider the major things recommended there -- Heather has a long list but there are just one or two that are probably "doing the job." So, don't get overwhelmed with it -- perhaps start with the major vitamin and add others as needed. It would be SO good if you could get your oncologist to agree to and participate in this -- we kind of view those on it here as a kind of trial -- we know it is not scientific, but hey -- it seems to definitely be working for some. PLEASE keep us up on what you decide as events unfold. Most importantly, we will all be praying for you and asking for God's blessing on your husband, you and all of your family. Keep the faith -- dave

I am a newly joined member of daily strengths so am just working my way around the site. I was interested when I saw a group for AML. However, I lost my husband to this disease 7 months ago after he had only been diagnosed 3 weeks prior. I don't feel I should be part of the group as ours was not a positive story - not sure where I should be or go to for support relating to me???