On July 31st of last year, I fell asleep at the wheel and went into the median of the highway. A metal post went through the floorboard of my car, through the bottom of my seat, the bottom of my thigh, and came out of the top and touched my chest. Almost went in. My femoral artery was missed by 1 mm. I was in a ventilator and paralyzed on my left lower side for a few weeks. I was in the hospital for 7.5 weeks. I have had 12 surgeries to reconstruct my leg. I am still struggling daily. I have anxiety. PTSD. Chronic pain in my left thigh and knee and hip. I want to know i am not alone. That there are others that deal with these issues, too. Tonight i am feeling sad and alone. I feel like giving up in my recovery. That i should just lay in bed and rest all day every day instead of getting up and fighting the anxiety, fear, pain. And i do. I fight. But tonight, i feel like giving up.
I am up early due to my daughter having an infection, during the night I've had palpatations and gagged a few times, so I've been awake longer. At the moment I feel really uptight and anxious. We will have to see the Doctor today for her as she is immuno suppressed. But the way I feel anxiety wise is horrible.!!
My biggest trigger is two faced people. What I mean is often I find myself in situations where, I feel really friendly, and talk to alot of people, I talk about things that make me happy, like my kid and listen to what they want to talk about. then I think, wow, that was nice, but everyone at work here, I mean EVERYONE, seems twofaced. I talk to someone and whomever that person is, after...