I too have been doubly incontinent since I broke my neck in January 2013. A suprapubic catheter was installed in May 2013 - not a big or traumatic operation about 40 minutes under local anaesthetic. It has worked quite well, or at least better than the alternatives such as intermittent catheterisation (especially as I have little use of my hands). It has possibly caused some of my urinary tract infections and I have had catheter blockages, but both have been stopped with Nitrofurantoin.
I have bowel care on alternate mornings by two nurses. This is basically manual removal of faeces, not pleasant for them or me, but it has worked quite well so far.
I wear a pad inside mesh fixation pants which on the whole, works quite well. It is changed each morning. Occasionally I have accidents and it needs to be changed in between, but these are very infrequent - no more than once or twice a year.
Good luck. I hope your nerves regenerate so that you won't have this problem for long.

I wear diapers all the time too and am 31. I find if I wear a thinner one during the day, I can wear my normal clothes and it is not noticeable. I have gotten over the embarrassment of changing in a public restroom stall, so i just make sure I change enough for the level of protection. At night and when I am wearing jeans, I wear the confidry 24/7's. They are thick and crinkly, but jeans do a good job covering up. No one will ever say anything about you wearing a diaper and even if a friend/family member notice, they will only treat you with compassion. At least that is my experience.

I've been incontinent since fracturing my neck playing rugby - that was almost 30 years ago. Initially had problems at night and very occasional daytime issues. Subsequent problems with my spine - discs, nerves and vertebrae - and three operations later I am wearing all-in-one pads/adult nappies 24/7 and like you will not feel anything until I am wet. In the UK I get the TENA Slip Maxi Active fit on the NHS. I am otherwise mobile, fit and healthy. I am married with a wonderful wife and three boys. I told my wife at the outset of our relationship and a handful of friends so as to avoid any embarrassing bedwetting accidents. All were very understanding. Changing at the office or in other public places can be difficult sometimes; I will always try and use the disabled facilities but of course I am not visibly disabled so have been challenged a couple of times...I took them back into the lavatory and showed them! They were much more embarrassed than I was!!

Tips: Find a product you have total confidence in. Just treat them as your underwear. Carry a spare and some wet wipes. I also have a small tube of nappy rash cream. I know I am lucky to only have bladder problems but don't be ashamed, you have nothing to be ashamed about; you were injured in a vehicle accident. Don't let this hold you back. Your real friends will be supportive and you have this group to share things with. Good luck,

My advice is don't struggle with it trying to get away with not wearing. There have been times I felt fine and went out unprepared only to end up needing a change of pants Get used to wearing them and eventually they won't feel so weird to you. Chlorophyll can help hide the odors from your bms. Also plastic pants might be a good idea for you if you leak from your diapers. Most important realize nobody is looking to see if you are wearing a diaper and most people don't care. The most important thing you can do is live your life and not worry about the fact you wear a bit thicker underwear.