Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
i keep struggling with this issue and not matter how i look at it i feel like a loser. I haven't told many people about it but everyone says its not a big deal. but they have had sex so they dont know how im feeling. People say im good looking a nice guy which only makes it worse if im good looking and nice why dosnt women want me? im gonna be 27 soon its really taken a toll on me. i have been shy and have anxiety which i think is the problem. i over think things way to much. i had the opportunity to have sex once and my conscience said it was a bad idea. i though this feels weird, and i dont want a kid things like that. i cant be honest with people especially being a guy cause that all the guys at work talk about and if they found out they would make fun of me. im lost
If you want to continue to abstain from sex, then you have to respect yourself and your choice, and stand by it. That doesn't mean you have to tell anyone that you are afraid would ridicule you for it. It just means you find a way of saying that you don't talk sh*t about women and sex.
If you want to be sexually active but have fears about it, then maybe you can talk to a therapist about where these fears are coming from.
Either way, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Who we are does not depend on what we do or don't do in bed. Who we are is built on honor and integrity. That's the important stuff. HUGS to you.
So I'm in the same position, and I guess I just surround myself with work, and friends, and family so I am always busy. I don't feel like a loser, I feel like I know what I want and I'm stronger than a lot of people because of it. I date every so often but it doesn't take me long to figure out that it's not going anywhere. I just haven't met the right person yet. I have faith that this will happen someday...
I hope you can feel good about your life and the way you want to live it. I hope you're keeping your eyes and options open to people you may want to meet and spend time with. Try and stay hopeful and positive.
I have been celibate for decades now so I can relate to your issue. However, I've handled it differently than you. Being good looking or attractive, nice, etc is not guarantee to having a partner.
What actually helps is having qualities that would make us attractive, those being:
1) Having a strong sense of self
2) Having a healthy self esteem
3) Being independent
and the most important:
4) Knowing how to love ourselves
Why are there qualities important? Because they determine the types of partners we'll attract. If we love and appreciate ourselves, we'll be able to love others in a life affirming manner and we will attract like partners.
Best of all, when others attempt, notice the word I am using: attempt, when they attempt to make us feel bad about ourselves, we not only stand our ground but we do not allow anything that is said to us, to bother us one iota.
I have been teased about my celibacy status, anywhere from being told that I am celibate because I cannot get a partner to that I must be really bad in bed, but it's never been nowhere near the truth which is I am not interested in having a relationship which in turn baffles others.
Our choices are our choices and they have to be respected, if they are bot, then those people do not belong in our circle. I am very honest about my status as a celibate and my take on it is that let the chips fall where they may. It's not my problem.
The best advice for you that instead of worrying about what others think of you, you could be using that energy working on yourself: learn to love yourself, learn to strengthen your sense of self, etc.
When you see yourself in a healthy and life affirming way, nothing will anyone says will bother you because the only opinion that will ever matter is your own. Trust me I've been called a lot of things and it's never made me change my mind about my celibacy.
And if you get rejected? That's good because she was not for you. Enjoy being single while you can. Just because you have not have sex in a while does not make you a loser. Thinking you are loser does make it so. Therefore, change the way you are looking at your life and your life will eventually change.
The best? You'll get to choose who shares your life with you and not the way around. You'll choose someone worthy of you and your values.
Best of luck,
Wolf