Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group

The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.

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Zemphyra 12/04/2010

A part of me is worried that I'm always going to be alone because of my beliefs. I'm 27 and have never been out on a date - although I have the displeasure of saying I have had boyfriends before. Because of my beliefs I still retain my virginity, yay! :) Sometimes I wonder though if because of my decision to abstain from sex until marriage if it means I'm perhaps missing out on finding the love of my life. I'm worried I'm going to grow old alone, with only my cats for company (which will probably earn me a "crazy cat lady" label). Although it's okay for 99.9% of the time, I still feel like I'm missing something when I see something like a couple dancing or holding hands. It's not the sex I crave. It's the other things that come with a relationship that make me feel somewhat incomplete. I've only just joined a church so my faith is still in its infantile stages. So my faith isn't set in stone just yet. How do you keep the faith that you're not going to be alone forever? What if what you're destined for is to never find true love and get married?

Also I should add that the boyfriends in the past wanted me to have sex with them but I refused to give up on my beliefs and the relationships ended not long afterwards.

deleted_user 12/05/2010

I understand what you are going through and if you were to give in and have sex it doesn't mean that it would necessarily lead to a meaningful relationship either. I think that the fact you are a virgin yet actually makes you special and that is what you should keep telling yourself to help you to keep holding out and keep waiting for the right guy to come along. You might also want to consider where you are looking to meet the type of guy you are looking for. You probably are going to have a harder time finding these guys if you are looking in bars/clubs rather than in other places like the church you attend or in places where people do volunteer work. I hope I was able to help and wish you good luck finding what you are looking for. :)

deleted_user 12/06/2010

If those guys dumped you, they obviously only wanted you to put out. It would have ended bad even if you had had sex with them. Your faith is more important than finding somebody and trust me, you will grab the wrong one if he is not willing to respect you, your beliefs and your decision to wait. Even though I am in the same position as you (virgin, never dated, worried I'll be single forever) I would rather die a virgin than be married to a man that didn't really love me and always put himself first.

deleted_user 12/06/2010

Good for you, because you are love, we are all love. Fight fear with love you will not become the "crazy cat lady" you will become more love, what is the purpose, but not for love you are love, we are all love.

Zemphyra 12/07/2010

Thanks everyone :) I always think I'd rather die a virgin that have a relationship where I'd put out to hang onto it.

Foreveralone1, don't worry, I don't do the whole pubs/club scene. My only social venues are church and work. I won't even join online dating sites unless they're specifically Christian. I think it probably doesn't help that I'm being excluded by the young adults in my church but I continue to pray for them, especially the youth leader who has so much influence on being an important first contact, and maintaining a friendship with new members. He could really help others on their journey with the Lord if he'd only take the time and understand how important his position in the church is :(

Thanks steviegurl38 and nowayis, I'll continue to stay strong in my faith and my beliefs :)

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