Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
I'm a heterosexual, 29-year-old guy, and the most I've ever done is kiss a girl. For a very long time, it felt right to save any sexual contact (beyond kissing, really) for when I was married. The idea of that was beautiful to me.
But as the years have gone by, well, I haven't even gotten close to getting married. And I don't see it happening in the very near future.
In the meantime, my sexual desire has... not exactly grown, but become more difficult to put aside. I used to be able to feel content in remembering how wonderful the experience would be when it was with the one person I knew I would spend the rest of my life with. Now, though... I find such a burning desire to want to experience sex-- perhaps more out of intense curiosity than the physical experience (though, of course, I want that, too).
I also want to feel included among my peers who have the knowledge of what it's like. And... get to do it :-|.
I'm not able to find much support among people I know in my community. So, I would like to ask people here: Does anyone feel so awfully torn between a conviction to wait for that one right person, and a lust to do it-- and find out what it's like?
I struggle with this so greatly.
It would really help to know that there are others who can relate to what I'm going through.
Thanks.
But as the years have gone by, well, I haven't even gotten close to getting married. And I don't see it happening in the very near future.
In the meantime, my sexual desire has... not exactly grown, but become more difficult to put aside. I used to be able to feel content in remembering how wonderful the experience would be when it was with the one person I knew I would spend the rest of my life with. Now, though... I find such a burning desire to want to experience sex-- perhaps more out of intense curiosity than the physical experience (though, of course, I want that, too).
I also want to feel included among my peers who have the knowledge of what it's like. And... get to do it :-|.
I'm not able to find much support among people I know in my community. So, I would like to ask people here: Does anyone feel so awfully torn between a conviction to wait for that one right person, and a lust to do it-- and find out what it's like?
I struggle with this so greatly.
It would really help to know that there are others who can relate to what I'm going through.
Thanks.
God will bless you so greatly if you can wait. Pray that he will bring you a woman worthy of being your wife. There may be a reason he has not given you her yet. Have you asked for that specificly?
Just know that the wait is worth it and that God will always give you a way out of those tempting times if you look for it.
I cannot relate to waiting like you have I just wish me and my husband would have. Even though we have only been with eachother it is both something we wish we would have just not done untill we married. Have no regrets. Best of luck to you. Hang in there!!
I am not even going to pretend to know how you feel because I am only 22 & havent waited as long as you have. I am single & I do believe God has me in a season of singleness for a reason. Also if we learn to wait well then it makes the waiting experience less painful. If you are religious use your time to also grow in Him. As followers of Christ we learn to have His characteristics too, & one of them is patience. It is so worth the wait, God will bless His obedient children.
Here are a few scriptures I think of when I am down:
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man, but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. I Corinthians 10:12-13
Trust in the Lord, & do good; dwell in the land, & feed on His faithfulnesss. Delight yourself in the Lord & He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, & He shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:3-5
My boyfriend was exactly like how you described. A true romantic, with also a burning desire. He didn't grow up in a Christian family with the concept of abstinence but thought it a wonderful ideal- now though he is starting to look at it in another way... which takes a lot of pressure off me too.. because now he is finding more reason to wait. If you want to talk to him on here then let me know (via message).
Walking and seeking purity, not only sexual, is a lonely walk- we live in a sex saturated society! BUT don't conform, you only are a virgin once.. Of course there is a battle between soul and spirit, mind and heart, instant gratification and long term goals... TOTALLY NORMAL!!! Gods plans in the bible like all the commandments are about protecting us primarily but obeying and honouring God.
BUT- I have been in a long term relationship and feel much like you do... I have been seeking God greatly about this particular area-
It's funny how God works through not only prayer but tv, words, other people.. all sorts. Funny stories if you want to ask me about them.
If you ask God for greater understanding and really seek Him about this area God will not let you down. Read Ephesians and Hebrews and other areas about sexuality and pray for insight.
Find some other people who believe in abstinence to help encourage you, most people dont have something worth living and fighting for but this is definately worth it.
Most of all though, what is your main reason for waiting????
I find that the closer I seek Gods purity, the more reason I have to wait.
And for me it's not about boundaires, it's about how do I keep myself pure? and it comes from inside out not the other way around.
I posted something on here to hear from married couples that have waited and found it worthwhile- lets see what they say!!!
I may only be 19, but someone my age should most likely have dated by now. I've always been turned down, and I fear it will always be that way.
But I pray you wait. I know I am.