I'm guessing you could be asexual? Since you are celibate without "trying" to be celibate, I would consider that a possibility. You can post your question on "asexual" forum (dunno if they have one here). A lot of us are on this forum because we struggle with sexual desire, not the lack of it. That said, I kinda envy you because you don't have the struggle I do :)

Zen,

I find it interesting that your reaction to her post is one of envy and you further imply that yours is a struggle, she does not have.

I find it interesting because of your username where it is written that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.

In other words, there is a part of you that wants to struggle and somehow you have gotten in agreement with it. I used to do that same darn thing, but I learned what I have just written.

It is a fallacy to think that we all need sex, we do not. We do need air, water and food to live but sex is an option. Once you know this to be true and live by it, your struggle will end. It is that darn simple, unless of course, you would rather struggle which is fine, as well.

Wolf

Whats,

Is that lack of desire for the company of others something you decided because you wanted it that way or something that was brought on by circumstances.

I ask because I do not enjoy the company of others as much as others might, I prefer my own company and quite frankly I find most people irritating so I am very discerning with whom I choose to see or visit.

But if this was brought on by circumstances, then such isolation can be thought of as punishment and such then becomes less enjoyable and it is unhealthy to live this way, so perhaps you may want to inquire and see if there is physiological cause for your lack of desire or a psychological one, if there is nothing there, then enjoy it. But if there is, taken care of it would be ideal.

Hope this helps,
Wolf

I really liked your comments wolf, I'm not sure which of those things are the reason for my lack of desire, I'm only troubled by it when I feel lonely, not to often, but at times I do, but it's like it would be totally unfair of me to enter a relationship with someone when I have little to no desires for sex. I used to like it, but never really related it to being close to someone, it's was more of a meeting a physical need than anything romantic. Now the physical need is just mostly, not there, perhaps a combo of life experiences, birth control meds, and anti-depressants. Who knows. I know that when I eat pork and greens I get really horney, like really bad the next day, or certain meds can make me feel like that, but mostly it just does not exist for me.

My lack of sexual desire is because it 's been superficial and shallow. It's always have something to do with my wallet not me as a person.

I really don't want to be with no one that has a price tag on their head. It doesn't mean anything to me if the person is not generally in it for the long hall. I don't want no one that goes door to door either.

I don't miss sex because their is always an alternative motive. Were are people who want friendship and companionship. Having sex is a dangerous under taking , but in our society it's casual thing.

It's demanding when you have not the right partner and that is most of the times. Love have nothing to do with it and that is sad.

Wolf,

Thank you very much for your comments. I think I understand what you mean. Yes, I agree sex is not a physical need. Otherwise, how do monks live? I view sex as a physical craving. In the end, it's all in the mind. But that's easy to say, difficult to accomplish. Say we live in a highly sexualized society (I do, I don't know about you), our senses are constantly bombarded with 'things' that gravitate our mind toward sex. Then it becomes very troublesome to manage, regardless of whether or not our body really needs sex. That's why in these societies, most people start having sex in just their teenage years. They can't control it because their minds are constantly fed these 'things'.

How old are you not to want to cuddle with someone?

I don't connect with a lot of guys. I connect even less concerning a deep connection.. With that in mind, I don't feel like having sex sex with someone else I have a great connection.

So, I hardly have sexual desire when I'm not in a relationship.

I do have sexual dreams, where I actually have an orgasium. Yes, a real one.. That releases sexual energy.

Zengen,

I had a porn addiction for 30 years or so because of that very highly sexualized society we live in and after I recovered and started to live the sober life, I learned to tune out those annoying messages and decided never to again feed those sexual thoughts and here I am very happy after 5 years.

You have no idea of how many hours are literally wasted on the pursuit of sex for very little return, in fact. Now I have more time for the pursuit of other worthy things in my life.

This is how I see it, let us say that society force feeds you bad apples, they talk about it like it is the best thing in the world and those who choose not to eat those bad apples are made to feel like outcasts by the majority, you know what it takes courage to say like I have many a time, "no I do not care for those apples because I know they are really bitter and they taste bloody awful" as an example.

So it is up to each of us to decide whether we are going to be slaves of our own impulses or masters of our lives.

Wolf

Whats,

If you are okay about not feeling sexual then by all means have platonic relationships, I have a lot of those myself because I do not care to be sexual with anyone either, it is not to say that if I feel the need to release some sexual tension, I suffer, quite the contrary, I take care of it.

Yet it is not that often because I do not have my focus on sexual things in my daily life.

Wolf

what do you do when you are in a relationship with someone? How does your partner deal with no sex or small amounts of sex?