It seems you have doubts about standing your ground. I know when I was your age I was celibate and thwen I had doubts. I want to remind you it is like a bite out of a poison apple. you think it's great and it is full of disappointment if done too early and outside of a committed relationship. I think it was the sorriest day of my life in many ways. And, of course we broke up soon afterwards. (That's what I mean by a bite of a poison apple. It ruined us). I think you will do well to pursue your degree, your relationships as healthy expressions of you personality, but don't feel bad about not sharing in sexuality -yet. Be slow. It is sexually attractive to the right women. It's my experience.

Sex outside of a marriage is nasty - it leaves bitterness and regret. Any decent man or woman will tell you - yes feels great before, during but the aftertaste is bitter and remains with you for the rest of your days. I was a virgin when married, and was faithful for it's entirety (30yrs 6 mths, she died). I have been dating for a year or so and fell for a lustful woman, long and short of it, drink and a conviction to wait until marriage do not mix and we laid. I had to break it off as it would have continued. Wait for marriage, it is best, women will love it, and th ewhole notion of sexual incompatibility is rubbish; you will be attacted to a woman who will be compatible with you!

LOL! No one says that you have to be a man whore to find a wife. In fact, for me anyways, I would prefer someone who had the least amount of partners as possible. However, as a woman, I will say this. Most women prefer a man that have had some type experience in the field of sex, and this is why. It's the satisfaction that a man can please her physically. Both a good physical and emotional relationship needs to occur in order to have a solid strong relationship with someone. Usually if one doesn't exist, people feel the need to find it elsewhere. That is just how a majority of relationships work.

As that may be, not everyone is like that. I choose to have sex before marriage with the fear that I wouldn't be able to a)satisfy my husband the first time and b)because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to go through with it (I don't like pain and had heard it's very painful the first time). At 23 I've had only 3 partners, and the 3rd one I have dealt with him and only him for the past four years.

Sex does play a fairly decent part in a relationship, but it depends on the person that you marry on how big a percentage it plays in both your lives. I personally say, if a man can satisfy you and that's who you want to be with for the rest of your life, who cares how many partners they've had. And if you'd like to wait until marriage to have sex, then go for it and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise!!

So preety much if i wish to mary a girl i have to be a pornstar in bed to have her keep me, seems like a waste of other good qualities that i posses if they all want just that

and tolerantly if i am not fuck worthy then i am not worthy of being a husband, wow my depression just got three times worse now.

DI,

There you go again thinking too much. Who has said that you have to know how to have sex to get married? Where are you getting this inaccurate information? Cosmo? Penthouse? Then again, in a sex obsessed society I am not surprised such a request exists.

Did we not cover this before when I told you to hold on to your morals and stay as you are and STOP listening to idiots? The problem actually is that you are obsessing for no reason, why do you not obsess about getting a career first and see what happens.

There is a joke that goes like this:"What is the best way to stop having sex? Get married." There is some truth to that, that is why it's funny,.

As for having a good sexual record, I already went through this with you, telling you that it's the luck of the draw, some women can climax, others cannot, the long and the short of it is that communication is key here, here's where you would talk to your wife and ask her what she likes.

Nevertheless, your best best would be to find another virgin and then you two would be compatible, for certain. Where are they? Well, do not count on this too much but in churches there are some, but there's a caveat, not all are virgins, some would have had some experience aside from intercourse,so you'd have to find one that actually holds the same values as you, that is she truly wants to wait til she gets married. They do exist.

Someone will appreciate your qualities outside the bedroom, just wait for that to happen. Considering the fact that bedroom time is shorter than waking up time. Wouldn't it be better to be like you than to be a man whore?

So I ask you, how difficult is it for you to wait and stop looking, listening to idiots and live your life? Then it just may happen or you can depress yourself thinking about things that may never happen, it's always your choice.

My two frustrated rubles' worth,
Wolf

jeez wolf the women in churches are the worst, all they want is sex i know a friend of mine that went to a christian academy and he said that sex there is more than in any other academic school. I know of everything already that you already said but you dont understand when you go through dating and waiting for so long to just end up with nothing, what i mean is being a man hore means that you have been with every girl out there so you know you got the right one i belive its the same reason girls are giving in early as well just so they can find that compatability. In other words i find it really disrespectfull when i get put in friends zone because of this even though they know that i am attracted to them, am i thinking too much or not enough, what if i wait and get my life on track so 9 years pass and im still alone then 19 years pass and same thing then 29 years pass, well you get the point all those years i could have had sexual expertise under my belt and i dint why cause i waited, Oddly enough people that have had at least 10 partners are more happier and regret nothing so i still see no point in not just sleeping around and waiting for something that will never happen.

I would also like to add that people that have sex more frequently are more accepted by society and have a better life in the long run, they seem to be more healthy and are never depressed or care who they hurt or if they're hurt. That must be what being a god is like.

Great job for waiting to have sex. Keep waiting till you get married. Give your wife a wonderful gift

DI,

Well to answer your question, I'll pose one better, again why are you obsessing on getting married or finding a girlfriend who will marry you?

What if you get your life on track and after that you cannot find someone to marry? What then? Well, why can you not be able to live alone then? What if people are disrespectful to you? What if the world literally mocks you? What of it?

Why can you not stand on your own two feet and live your life as you see fit? Why are you allowing others to dictate how you will feel about anything? Why are you allowing your "friends" to mock you?

Again, you are getting half the information, to find the right one, you do NOT have to be a man whore, since the right one has absolutely nothing to do with sexual compatibility, it has more to do with an emotional connection.

And that bit about people who have had 10 partners of more seem happier is bunk, never depressed and what not is actually accurate either because the truth of the matter is this: Happiness is not based on what happens to you or does not happen to you it is based on your attitude towards life. It is strictly an inside job.

As for never depressed, I find that very hard to believe since society at large depends on circumstances to dictate their moods and not their outlook about life. As for no regrets, well, of course, you too would have no regrets if you came from the mindset of having more partners would make you happy.

What I am saying is that you have got, again, stop reading bunk studies and internalizing them because they do not tell the entire story, and what I suggest you do, instead is what I suggested earlier which is to live your life, get your career and see what happens.

Let me tell you a secret, the minute you stop looking, it shows up. It's law. You obsess about something, you repel it. In other words, when you say, "I want.." the universe hears it and obeys, so it'll give you more want, the feeling. But the minute that you become what you want, heart and soul, you get it eventually.

So according to law, if you want a whore, become a man whore. If you want a decent, loving girl.. become that.. well you are already there but you have got to stop any other thought to bother you, otherwise you'll be less likely to get it.

As for those who have sex more often are better accepted in society is a sad state of affairs that clearly tells you just how sex obsessed we are, if we are ready to embrace those who have sex more often and criticize those you hardly have it. It should be viewed as a sign that not all is well. It should not be celebrated.

Again as for having a better life, it is not to having more sex but more to do with a healthier self esteem, however, if it's based solely on the number of partners, meaning on external circumstances, then it would be fleeting, there again, you are getting half the info.

Let me tell you something, I have had lots of partners, once during my early 20's I went through a spell where I would have one night stands for a period of six months and totally I have had about give or take, 20 partners, I am in my 50's now and believe me when I tell you that I am happier now that I have ever been, the mere fact that I do not have to deal with the stupid, asinine drama that a relationship often brings with it, I am at peace.

Sex brought me nothing but hassle and problems. The instant a relationship got sexual, it went to hell in a hand basket very fast. I bought into the hype you are hanging on to, and it left me truly disappointed.

Some would say it was the partners I had, well that could be but I am certain that it was mainly because of the importance sex is placed in a relationship.

Frequency of sex in a relationship was a determinant on emotional investment. Well, that's not necessarily true if the person is faithful and caring towards a partner, even if the sex is infrequent. There is there is matter of expectation based on, you guessed it, what society dictates relating to frequency,

Meanwhile, the best thing you can do for yourself is what my mother would say: Stand on your own two feet, endure the slings and arrows, learn to be alone and hope for the best. Learn to be happy whether you find that special someone or not. How hard can that be?

Wolf

Then what is the point in living when you know you will be alone, thanks for the replies i got my mind set already.

What if you end up alone then life is not worth living without sharing it with someoje else, look at everyone else when you go out that are together they are happy and im alway. depressed, i guess i am always overthinking this because i am sure life alone is not worth living, suicide is the answer for me thanks for saying that and thanks for everyone elses replies too i will see all later.

DI,

I think at this stage I strongly suggest you see a therapist to address these issues you are raising/having.

Your inability to be alone, your all or nothing thinking, coupled with your conclusion that life without another person is useless, to the point where you surmise that suicide is the answer are, how can I put it, NOT healthy and are an indication that something is seriously awry in your thought process.

Healthy, balanced people do not worry about whether they are alone or not, they do not obsess about it either. They are able to be alone for a lifetime if need be because they know their life is not about whether they find someone or not but to make a difference on Earth.

Lots of people are able to be alone and do not go around wanting to kill themselves. There again society insists we pair up and make babies and we'll be happy. Sometimes it it works, sometimes it does not. Hence why the divorce rate is so high.

As for the happy couples, well, again, you do not know and will never know what problems they actually have. You are only seeing a part of it. My mother always told me never to look at someone else's life because if I knew what it was really about, I would not want it. It has been true so far and i'm in my 50's.

Then we have the issue that you are comparing your life to someone else's life. Again, there is no comparison. Be the best YOU you can be and go from there.

Nevertheless, I think you seriously need to see someone professionally because your thought process is alarmingly askew, address the issue of self image that you have and you'll feel a hell of a lot better.

I did tell you I used to think like you and it led me to the same miserable road you are on, so with therapy and a desire to live a happy life, I realized I did not need anyone to be happy after all and here I am.

The trick is NOT to NEED to be with someone, the trick is to want to be with someone. You are in NEED not want. When you say what's the point of living if you end up alone, you are talking NEED not want/optional.

Seriously, you NEED to see someone, for your own peace of mind, you owe it to yourself to learn to love yourself and be your own person. I urge you to seek help immediately as I am sure I am not the only one who thinks this is the most important step you can make right now.

Suicide is NOT the answer, it never is and it has never been and I never implied it or said it so do NOT put words in my text. In fact, I was saying the total opposite that there is life, a worthy life to be had even alone. All you have to do is learn to live it, and hope for the best.

Wolf

thanks for the comments but my mind is set this is what must be done and if i am alone then i will die alone so why not end it and i shall, thanks for the comments and i was not putting comments in your text so don't worry about it and i will not go see a doctor that will just put me in a mental institution, its a disgrace to be in a place like that to my family and friends, but to take your own life takes courage and i have too much of it. call me a coward i don't care this is the best answer for me. good bye.

DI,

I did what I could do to help you out here. I still maintain you should see someone about this, pronto.

Wolf