Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
I noticed that when i started dating at my age most women my age(21) seem to want to have sex on the first date but i refuse and then i get put in friend zone, i also seem to say no thanks i have a lot of friends already when this happens, i just don't think its healthy for me to have a lot of girl friends when i do get into a relationship with someone for something deeper later in the future, am i being selfish or shallow to not want to have sex with them and does that make me less of a man to not just want to have sex for the first time cause i sort of think they just want to have sex because they think i might wander off if they don't but it sucks being a gentleman like myself and letting all these girls just go by me and i think i might be regretting it later on in the future, then again i usually have more respect for a girl that doesn't just give it away but can wait like me sadly i have yet to find a girl like that at my age, anyway am i at fault to not wanna have sex with every girl i take out or should i change my thinking, and i ask this cause most of my guy friends think i am a player but i am not lol.
I frankly think you are looking at it fatalistically, instead of looking at it as rejection why don't you look at it as a weeding out process?
So look at it as a win for you because those girls are not for you whatsoever, since they do not have your values.
What's to regret? A quick roll in the hay that may not amount to much in the end? Is that what you are missing out on? If I were you, I'd wait until I found a girl who appreciate me and loved the fact that I wanted a deeper relationship based on love and respecf.
As for the guys, pay them no mind, you are the one who has to sleep with himself at the end of the day. By the way, the fact that you are saying no to sex makes you more than a man, than saying yes to any skirt that walks by.
I, personally, have been called every name in the book and I have yet to stop being celibate. No amount of pressure, name calling and tauting by men or women can change my mind.
Best of luck,
Wolf
You are on the right path, looking for love for the right reasons, hang onto your morals, and be true to yourself, and patient.
Good luck and God Bless!
Actually it is rather cruel to ask for experience in an area that, well, where some people are rather awkward. It's a very iffy area, at best, truthfully a skilled lover by many standards is based, believe it or not, on whether you can satisfy someone sexually or not.
That alone is again rather iffy, because it also has to do with the ability of your partner to be able to be satisfied. So right there you run into issues or frigidity or hang ups that can come into play in the sexual arena. So I would not be too concerned with that as much as I'd be more concerned with your behavior out of the bedroom, as you pointed out.
Again, I think you are over thinking this and perhaps, you are a behaving a bit obsessive, to be honest. Why don't you cultivate other areas of your life, such as your school work and put that other issue in the back burner.
Personally, I did not have sex until I was 21 and it was not all the bells and whistles I was told it'd be. In fact, it was in the back of a van with a woman six years older than me and who was involved with someone else. As you can see, nothing to be bragging about here, you know?
Try to cool your jets and find friends who support you and have the same values as you and for the love of cats everywhere, so to speak, get out of your own head. :)
Wolf
I remember bartending watching the young women 'snare' their man for the evening. I think that you are on to something about some of them thinking that they need to put out on that first date, because you are the exception not the rule in the dating world.
Personally after watching countless hours of this kind of thing going on, I discovered that women are some serious 'hunters', they are just better at concealing it than men. Women have a way of manipulation that is under the radar and not in your face such as a male's way of pursuing a member of the opposite sex.
I wouldn't fret the rejection, women get just as 'horny' as men so to think that they aren't out on the look out for a 'good time' is just foolish. It would be like some girl that is continually saying NO to every man that hits on her... You have essentially done a bit of societal role reversal, which to me is a good thing...
Good luck and don't loose heart that there is someone out there that isn't going to pressure you into something you don't want to do. Just remember, because you are waiting you will have some catching up to do in the realm of 'satisfaction' which is an entirely different subject that is really unique to each individual. So when you do finally find that certain someone, you may not be 'the shizbang' when you two start... but if your communication and sense of adventure are in line with each other... Practice make perfect! ;)