Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group

The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.

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Considering Celibacy to Save My Sanity

November
November

I've been married for 4 years, together for 7. My desire for sex has always been greater than my husband's. Whenever we have sex (every 1 to 3 months) he seems like he is interested in doing it again soon, but it always ends up being weeks and weeks later. Sometime I cry(alone) because I feel so rejected and I never imagined my life without a willing sexual partner.


I have had it. I love him, but I am so sick of being disappointed due to infrequent short lived sex. Yes, I have talked to him about my feelings and need for more sex. No, he won't change, even though he has been saying he will for the past 6 years.


I will be 40 in November.  At that time, I want to become celibate to remove all hope and expectation of sex. I hope this will relieve me of feeling rejected and depressed. I have told him, but he says he will change. We will see. I am not holding my breath, just waiting to see if I will ever have sex again.

arfie
arfie
Hello November. Welcome to DS.

I'm clueless on how this approach will work, but. . . Listening. . .

Gentle support while you work it out.
Mae19681995
Mae19681995
Dear November, Just a thought but have you thought about marriage counseling or even marriage counseling with a sex theaript? Would your husband be open to this? Like many things in a marriage we talk to our spouses about changing, but when we don't see a change we get discouraged. But, sometimes they don't know what they need to change. I hate to see you go celibate. Have you talked to your husband about this decision? Keep us posted.
DanKickingBear
DanKickingBear
Hi, I'm living on the flip side of the coin. I live in Buckeye Arizona (30 miles west of Phoenix) and here I can apply for an annulment based on my wife's "Refusal of Intercourse" and the fact that the "Marriage Never Consummated." I went to her Primary Care Physician with her, then to marriage counseling 3 times, but she still has not made an appointment with a gynecologist. Apparently it just is not a priority for her. She actually said, "I just don't have the need, period." I love her and I want our relationship to be normal, but I am so sad and I cry (secretly) 3 to 6 times a day. I don't want to go on living this way. As I said to the marriage counselor, "I am not going to live the rest of my life celibate, I haven't done anything to deserve to."
Thanks,
deltakilobravo
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