Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
Hi,
So I am fairly knew to celibacy, I am almost 20 years old and It was never something I thought I would ever do especially seeing how young I am. I loved sex it was fun and we enjoyed it but being a Christian my thoughts after having sex with my boyfriend of 3 years as much as I am in love with him were always feelings of guilt and knowing that what we were doing was wrong. Even though I had these feelings for a while I never really addressed them and carried on feeling torn.
So in August 2012 we had a conversation and decided that we would abstain from sex and he explained that he also felt the same as me but had no idea how to tell me.
I was really worried what this meant for our relationship as we have always liked being intimate and are very sexually attracted to each other. So without being too graphic we do still have oral sex, kiss and touch each other. Its also something that we have to look forward to as we are in a long distance relationship due to both being at separate universities.
Now I know a lot of Christians and people who are celibate who think that this is wrong and even intimately kissing is a step too far but my boyfriend is very certain when he says the two are different, and that the bible doesn't condemn oral sex before marriage. I sometimes am unsure about where I stand on this but don't know if I could ever completely give other things too, especially kissing...
I really want some advice on this for example what about using fingers, is this a step too far?
Thank you
So I am fairly knew to celibacy, I am almost 20 years old and It was never something I thought I would ever do especially seeing how young I am. I loved sex it was fun and we enjoyed it but being a Christian my thoughts after having sex with my boyfriend of 3 years as much as I am in love with him were always feelings of guilt and knowing that what we were doing was wrong. Even though I had these feelings for a while I never really addressed them and carried on feeling torn.
So in August 2012 we had a conversation and decided that we would abstain from sex and he explained that he also felt the same as me but had no idea how to tell me.
I was really worried what this meant for our relationship as we have always liked being intimate and are very sexually attracted to each other. So without being too graphic we do still have oral sex, kiss and touch each other. Its also something that we have to look forward to as we are in a long distance relationship due to both being at separate universities.
Now I know a lot of Christians and people who are celibate who think that this is wrong and even intimately kissing is a step too far but my boyfriend is very certain when he says the two are different, and that the bible doesn't condemn oral sex before marriage. I sometimes am unsure about where I stand on this but don't know if I could ever completely give other things too, especially kissing...
I really want some advice on this for example what about using fingers, is this a step too far?
Thank you
I'm of the opinion that so long as you don't physically or emotionally abuse another then you are free to do anything you like. Does having sex with your bf offend either of you or another? It may well be that you are guilty of over thinking something that needs not so doing.