My name is K, and I am most certainly an alcoholic. lol I'm not new here, but I have been absent for a while.

On Feb. 28th (I think?) I would have had 3 years alcohol free. Then, life happened....my mother died, I moved to the UK to join my hubby (finally) the weather here sucks, no AA meeting for miles...blah blah blah...bottom line is, the "stinkin thinkin" got the best of me, and I played a "normie" for a while.

It had been 3 years since I got a DUI, and subsequently lost my job (and a $15,000 year raise), my apartment, my cat, my license, and was court ordered to AA.

My Higher power must have had my back from the start, because I stayed in AA beyond my sentence, and stopped drinking right away. From the very first meeting, I knew I needed to be there....I found understanding, compassion, support, friendship and much, much more in those rooms.

But in that time, from day 1, I was hanging in bars and clubs... working, socializing, watching my husband perform, and I had NO desire to get drunk or stupid. I was always quite happy and content with a soda, or the occasional O' Douls (yes, honestly, just one or two a month)

Then, I came to the UK...where they don't have O'douls...or any beer that weak....so it was a 2% every now and again...then a 3% because this place didn't have any 2%, then champagne (after a 3% or 2) on our anniversary, then someone introduced me to Sambuca (yum)....and I never got truly drunk...only drank 2 or 3 at most per night, on weekends. Sound familiar anyone???

New years eve. 2010. After barely 2 months of "normie" drinking, I'm sat at a SNOBBY golf club, watching my husband die on his ass, and getting insulted and snubbed by the punters, because the agent that booked him chose the wrong venue for his type of comedy. I had already nursed and watered down 1 rum and 7-up, and decided it would be a great idea to order a shot of Jameson's, one of my old favorite indulgences. I remembered how yummy it used to be...and I longed for that feeling of escape it gave me. I took that 1st sip, after saying goodbye 1036 days ago...and oh my god...it was not what I remembered at all! I couldn't even attempt to slam it as I once did, and it took me nearly 1/2 hour to sip it all down, with a swallow of 7-up after every sip. (I had just paid £2.50 for it, wasn't gonna waste it),

It was at about this point, just moments before the stoke of midnight on the eve of a whole new year...that I had an epiphany, and thought to myself, "What the FUCK are you doing???" I suddenly started to see the faces of some of my best AA friends, and I could hear their voices saying, " the doors are always open and we're always here for you...you don't have to do this alone..." and I could see the love and responses I used to get in here...when I was actually part of the groups...lol .

I still can't get to meetings at the moment, but I can stay in touch on here...I can get another copy of the big book, and we are working on moving nearer to civilization...lol. In the mean time, I am truly grateful for my 6 days of sobriety, and for the fact that this time around, I didn't have to black out or pass out, or end up in cuffs, to yet again know in my soul, that I DO NOT need to be drinking...end of!!!

Thanks to those of you that took the time to read this...I really needed to vent (can you tell).

Love and peace to you all, and to anyone just starting out on this long road...you can do it.

K