A Westerner went to the mysterious East to find out the meaning of life and Earth's true place in the Universe. The man climbed up a high mountain, where an Eastern sage sat in a cave, meditating. After a respectful wait, the Westerner asked, "Oh, Sage, can you tell me, what is the Earth's true place in the Universe?" The sage replied, "The Earth stands on the back of the Great Earth Turtle." "Aha!" said the Westerner. "And what does the Great Earth Turtle stand on?" "The Great Earth Turtle stands on the back of the Great Universal Turtle." "Hmm!" mused the Westerner. "And, oh, Sage, what does the Great Universal Turtle stand on?" The Sage replied, "These are very perceptive questions, mister, but they'll do you no good. It's turtles all the way down."

Wisdom Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/3035567

Question: What do you get if you cross a tortoise and a porcupine?
Answer: A slow poke.

Porcupine Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8603851

Fun Fact: Millions of years before humans had even imagined anything like it, tortoises and turtles had streamlined bodies, hard tops, retractable landing gear, and mobile homes.

Fun Facts And Trivia
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12697746

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs, and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds roosting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him that he's adopted."
Bird Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4825220
(‘Adoption And Orphan Humor’ is now in development.)

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs, and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds roosting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him that he's adopted."

Bird Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4825220

(‘Adoption And Orphan Humor’ is now in development.)

A tortoise crawls into a government office and says to the clerk, "Have you seen my Dad?" "I don't know," said the clerk. "What does he look like?"

Government Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4904470

What did the turtle wear to keep warm?
A people-neck sweater.

Clothing And Accessories Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6455980

Four tortoises were playing in the backyard when they decided they needed hibiscus flower snacks. They pooled their money and sent the smallest tortoise out to fetch the snacks. Two days passed and there was no sign of the tortoise. "You know, Shellita is getting really slow", said one of the tortoises. A little voice from just outside the fence said, " If you are going to talk about me, I won't go."

Food Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/2833111

Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell Station.

Road Crossing Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5439993

At a fancy dress ball one couple came with the woman on the man's back. "What have you come as?" asked the hostess. "I'm a tortoise," said the man. "A tortoise?" she asked. "Yes. My name is Tom, and this is Michelle."

Name Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12629541

A turtle was working at a Shell Station when three snails robbed the place. A police officer asked the turtle for a description of the robbers. All he could say was, "Officer, I'm sorry I can't give you a good description. It all happened so fast."

Law Enforcement Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5235262

Tortoise: What the teacher did. (tortoise, taught us)

School Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6385552

What was the turtle doing on the highway?
About one-sixteenth of a mile per hour.

Travel Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4583203

A young man with a reputation for being slow couldn't keep a job. He was finally hired to work at the local zoo. The keeper knew the young man's nature and told him to take care of the tortoises. When the keeper checked on the tortoises, he found the young man staring at an open gate. There was not a tortoise to be seen. "Where are the tortoises?" he asked. "I can't believe it," said the slow poke. "I opened the door and zoom, they were gone!"

Work Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7824279

Turtleskin shoes may look great, but wherever you go, you're always two hours late.

Time Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/.laughterclub/discussions/messages/6440761

Those r cute, Beaumont