“If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.”

-Red Skelton

Clown Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12370962

What do you call an alligator that bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.

-Red Skelton

Alligator And Crocodile Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7554247

“All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.”

-Red Skelton

Marriage Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8493782

“I left home because I was hungry.”

-Red Skelton

“I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.”

-Red Skelton

Mental Health And Psychiatry Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8085291

“A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months.' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them.'”

-Red Skelton

Aircraft And Flight Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/10304126

I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.

-Red Skelton

Baby Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8588630

“Live by this credo: Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.”

-Red Skelton

Happy Thoughts
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6910324

“God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being.”

-Red Skelton

Christian Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4171195

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

-Red Skelton

“I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.”

-Red Skelton

There are three ages of man: youth, middle age, and "Gee, you look good."

-Red Skelton

Aging And Maturing Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/10355417

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.

-Red Skelton

Money Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6778856

The time has come to say good night,
My how time does fly.
We’ve had a laugh, perhaps a tear,
and now we hear good-bye.

I really hate to say good night,
for times like these are few.
I wish you love and happiness,
In everything you do.

The time has come to say good night,
I hope I’ve made a friend.
And so we’ll say “May God bless you,"
Until we meet again.

-Red Skelton