Who is never hungry at christmas?

The turkey....it is always stuffed!


What do vampires put on their turkey ay Christmas?

grav-y

What do angry mice send each other at Christmas?

cross-mouse cards

What is white,lives in the northpole and runs around naked?..(no it is not Santa!!)

A polar bare

Thank you, Racinmom14, Rllabelle1960, and MirandaM for contributing to our 'Christmas Humor'. :-)

Christmas History: George Washington spent Christmas night 1776 crossing the Delaware River in dreadful conditions. Christmas 1777 faired little better - at Valley Forge, General Washington and his men had a miserable Christmas dinner of fowl cooked in a broth of turnips, cabbage, and potatoes.

What did Santa say when the toys misbehaved?
"Toys will be toys."

What did Santa say to the toys on Christmas Eve?
"Okay, everyone, sack time!"

What did the grape say to the raisin?
"'Tis the season, to be jelly!"

Claustrophobia: Fear of Santa.

Santa's Eight Original Reindeer
-Dasher
-Dancer
-Prancer
-Vixen
-Comet
-Cupid
-Donner
-Blitzen

Later Additions
-Rudolph (the one with the red nose)
-Olive (Olive, the other reindeer (olive, all of))
-Al (Then Al the reindeer loved him (Al, all))

All elves, pay attention, because this information will be on your Friday test.

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a kind lawyer, and Santa were traveling in an elevator at a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened, they noticed a $5 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?

Santa did, because the other two characters in the story don't exist.

(posh = upscale)
(elevator = lift)

The Funniest Face

The funniest face
Looked out at me
From a silver ball
On the Christmas tree!
At first I thought
It was Santa's elf,
But I looked again and
It was just myself!

-Author Unknown

"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." -Erma Bombeck

What is yellow and goes, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Santa Banana! ;-)

"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful."
-Norman Vincent Peale

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful."

-Norman Vincent Peale

In the 1820's, the Christmas tree was introduced to England by German immigrants. By 1850, trees were more commonplace, and Charles Dickens wrote, "I have been looking on, this evening, at a merry company of children assembled round that pretty German toy, a Christmas tree." Today, of course, the Christas tree is no longer a German oddity; it's a wintertime fixture and a symbol of the holiday season. The decorations lift our spirits by setting the proper mood for the holidays. Once the tree is trimmed, whether it's a king-sized fir or a tabletop model, the home is ready for Santa's big visit.

History Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8034117