A Laughter Club Community Group

We would like to invite you to join our group! A Laughter Club is for people who understand just how serious a matter humor is to one's survival and even to one's success in life. We share jokes, riddles, short stories, and other laughter-provoking thoughts. We have one simple rule: If you wouldn't say it to a child because it contains inappropriate...

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Animals Are People, Too!

Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Cows

Question: Why do cows wear bells?
Answer: Because their horns don't work!

Question: What has four legs and makes the sound, "Oom, oom"?
Answer: A cow walking backwards!

Question: What do you call a cow that does not give milk?
Answer: An udder failure! (utter)

Question: What do you call a cow with no legs?
Answer: Ground beef!

Question: Why was the farmer riding a cow?
Answer: Because his pig was in the shop!

Pigs

Question: What do you call a kosher hog?
Answer: A Harley! (motorbike)

Little Pig: Hey, there!
Big Pig: Hay, hey? Hay is for horses - Aren't you glad we're pigs?!

Chickens

Question: Why did the chicken cross the street?
Answer: To get away from Colonel Sanders!

Question: Why did the baby cross the street?
Answer: Because it was stapled to the chicken!

Question: What goes quack-quack-cluck, quack-quack-cluck?
Answer: A chicken that thinks its a duck!

Question: Why does the chicken coup have only two doors?
Answer: Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan!

Question: What kind of eggs do chickens lay during earthquakes?
Answer: Scrambled!

Frogs

Question: What is white on the outside, green on the inside, and hops?
Answer: A frog sandwich!

Question: Why are frogs always so happy?
Answer: Because they just eat whatever bugs them!

More to come...

Heard any good animal jokes lately?
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Birds

Question: What is black and white and lives on Hawaii?
Answer: A lost penguin!

Question: What kind of bird can write?
Answer: A pen-quin!

Ted: Let's talk turkey.
Ned: Yes, let's...gobble, gobble!
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Gnus

Momma Gnu looked at Pappa Gnu, then said shyly, "I've got gnus for you."
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Cats & Dogs - Together!

Question: What is the opposite of a cool cat?
Answer: A hotdog! (hot dog)
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Bulls

Question: How do you keep a bull from charging?
Answer: Take away his credit card!
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the making of these jokes.

Squirrels

Question: How do you catch a squirrel?
Answer: Climb a tree and act like a nut!
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Birds

Question: Why does an ostrich have such a long neck?
Answer: Because its head is so far from its body!
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
The termite's nightmare: "I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls."
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
A man on horseback rides into a tavern and up to the bar. The bartender nonchalantly says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "Diet ginger ale." "And what'll your horse have?" "Nothing." says the man, "He's my designated driver."
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Does anybody have any animal jokes? This is a great category because animals (at least the non-human type) are so forgiving of us when we make fun of them - at least, I've never heard of a single animal making a grievance report! :)
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Question: What do you call a big white animal that's shaped like a tooth?
Answer: A molar bear!
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Lost Dog: Three legged, blind in one eye, broken tail, and goes by the name Lucky.
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Fun with Bugs

A centipede was happy quite,
Until a frog, in fun,
Said, "Pray, which leg comes after which?"
This raised her mind to such a pitch,
She lay distracted in a ditch,
Considering how to run!
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
When a snail crossed the road, he was run over by a turtle. Regaining consciousness in the emergency room, he was asked what caused the accident. "I really can't remember," the snail replied. "You see, it all happened so fast."
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs, and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds roosting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him that he's adopted."
Group FounderBeaumont
Beaumont
What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockapoodledoo!