Yup it still hurts

yes it hurts , I feel like a heavy Knights sword is in my chest and just hanging there . The weight of the pain is there constantly . I just hope in time it will be less heavy. With that being said , I am just waiting as I have for this divorce to be over. I have no plans of having a great time afterward, or changing my life in a drastic way ( other then what this has done to me) I will continue to work, continue my routine , take care of my son, take care of my dogs, I had all these plans for our future , and now I have no plans . I really have no idea how to rebuild new dreams after this , guess that will come later I hope. Never will I wrap my life around someone else like this again. I feel like I lost my identity, I am just a drone now going through the daily things I need to. It is sad. Guess that part will take time. I just want to fast forward , I know true healing won't start till he moves out and he will in time. Right now he is just a bad roommate in my mind. Financially it will be tough , I'm trying to prepare. I guess it takes a long time for pain like this to go away. I don't want to have this pain a year or two from now. I don't know how I will get past it But I know I have to.