Yet Another Broken Heart

I feel empty. The night I broke up with my boyfriend, we got back together. I fell in love with him. I loved him so much. But he pulled away some. We were working on it, and things were getting better, but he still could barely see me (even after moving back to GA), and there was always an excuse. I trusted him though, and gave him the benefit of doubt. But whenever we make plans, almost every time, he bails. I loved him so much, so believed every single excuse. This time, I talked to a friend and she decided to look him up. I tried before and found nothing, but she managed to find a little something. Using what she found, I did my own digging and found stuff. There is hardly no info on him at all. No pictures and nothing on his name...that's because it wasn't his real name. It seems that he's married and has a different name. His wife may even live in Pennsylvania, Idk. His daughter is 3, not 8. I learned a while back that his phone was in a different name, but I was in love and didn't even question it...well, it turns out the name his phone is in is his wife's name. Even if he is divorced, he acted like and I believe even said he had never been married! So he lied! And now I can't even say I know his name is his real name! 
All I wanted was a good, happy, healthy relationship. I wasn't looking for a relationship when I met him, but I was open to it if it happened. I was lonely and I still craved that happy, healthy relationship. 
He wad everything I wanted...muscles, culture, intelligence, he listened, he was attentive and was considerate of me, he spoke different languages (even French!), and he was responsible. He took care of me when he was around. I felt safe with him and I was happy. Even when I was mad, whenever I saw him, I couldn't help but smile. I loved him so much! Being with him was like a breath of fresh air! And then the excuses started and he became less and less available...but I still loved him. He left for Philly today because of an emergency (even though we were supposed to hangout), but lately he's been making more of an effort to be good to me. 
I even told my family about him. I even told them he wanted to meet them, even though it didn't happen. 
From now on, I'm just looking for fun. I feel so empty and hurt. And although I feel betrayed, my feelings of fault overpowers that feeling. I should've known better. I trusted him to quick. I fell in love too quick. I should've done a better job at protecting my heart.
But having someone tell me I beautiful and ready mean it, even in my most ugly moments, even though I'm fat, even when I feel not attractive at all...that felt good. Being held felt good. Being wanted felt good. Being cared for felt good. Learning to let my guard down, relaxing, and being loved was feeling good. I had gotten so used to being alone, but having a boyfriend felt so good. I just wish for once, I could've been in a good, healthy relationship...going out on dates, catching breakfast, working out together, taking drives together, talking on the phone, and etc. I wish I could've found someone to build a life with...
I loved him so much. Idk what he'll say when he reads my texts. Idk if he'll be honest and tell me the truth. Idk what's going to happen...But right now, I'm hurting. I feel empty. I feel like I lost him. 
I don't want to lose him. But I can't be with a married man. But Idon't want to lose him. I don't want to be alone again. I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want yet another broken heart.