Yesterday... Yet Another Day in Hell ....

I wish I could say that yesterday - May 17 th, 2018 - was a " good " day here with " him ", but then that would definitely NOT be the 100 % truth.... if you can follow what I'm saying. You have to consider the fact of his bi-polar. So because of this, there are some times where he actually seems human. It's just when he completely surrenders to the rage that fills him - body, mind, and soul - then he turns into something that seems to be risen straight from the deepest depths of hell. I realize how this must sound like I'm completely exaggerating the matter, but please believe me... I'm not. I wish to God that I was. 

Right now it's about 9:10 am Friday May 18th, 2018 - and he's still in the bedroom sleeping. Around 6 AM till around 6:30 AM he was up, and playing LOUD PC games at the desktop computer ! NO consideration that just a handful of feet away I'm here TRYING to sleep in my recliner chair ! I thought about saying something, and asking him to be quiet. But I knew that would get me absolutely nowhere, and probably only end up causing a huge fight ! Of course in HIS MIND all that matters EVER is what HE WANTS ! It never matters that what he wants might affect someone else, as long as He gets what he wants ! I've tried to wake him up to this, and explain to him that it's not right for him to act this way towards others. I'm sure that nothing I said got through. I might as well been talking to a brick wall ! 

Of course... even though He woke me up around 6 AM this morning with his LOUD PC games, he'll still do everything he possibly can to prevent me from having a nap this afternoon. Plus I can guarantee you that if I dare to not follow what HE WANTS to do this afternoon, then I will be " the bad guy " - ( I'm being a grouchy bitch ! ... he hasn't actually used those words, but he's used others that have meant the same exact thing ). 

If my luck really holds out today - ( which I highly doubt it will ) - then he'll sleep very late... maybe until around 1 pm ! That would be HEAVEN ! Of course even LATER than that would be even better, but I'd be very grateful for at least 1 pm ! At this point I'll take any time I can get by myself - without him breathing down my neck, barking orders at me like a damn " drill sergeant " ! Of course I have to add to this that ALL of his ORDERS he expects me to fulfill immediately ! I've tried many times to ask him... " Where's the fire ? "... but this question only got more anger from him, and a pile of curse words thrown at me ! In his twisted mind if I don't fulfill his orders exactly when he TELLS ME TO then I'm making " excuses ", being stupid, and lazy, and I have NO PLANS on EVER fulfilling his orders ! I've tried many many times to reason with him that NONE of that is true, but he NEVER truly hears me ! NEVER !!!!