Yesterday at work
Here's the basic story. I had come out of my building and saw a man carrying a woman by her throat, savagely pummeling her as he dragged her toward his pickup truck. I shouted at him, the gist of which was to stop, that he couldn't do this ...to people, that this was wrong, that it's not okay for him to do this, that he had to knock it off. He threw the woman into the passenger seat and slammed the door and turned to me, screaming and swearing at me. He walked up to me and cursed me out, telling me to get out of here before he f'ed me up. I simply continued to say, "Man you've gotta stop! This is not okay! You can't be tearing people up", etc. He screamed and shouted at me, and I actually thought he was going to hit me. I went onward toward my car and tried to get my cell phone out to take a photo of his license plate. He saw me do this and ran to his truck cab and got a handgun, a glock-style pistol. He pointed it directly at me at arm's length and came at me shouting at me again. "What the F are you gonna do? Get the F out of here before I blow you MF'ing head off!" I told him, "I'm out, man. I'm done. I'm not in your business--I'm leaving." He continued to hold the gun at me and walked me back to my car; I walked backwards to keep facing him. When I got to my driver's seat, he turned and ran back to his pickup. He'd torn out of the parking lot before I even had my seat belt on. I called my coworkers, who put me on speaker phone and called 911 so that I could talk to them while this was being reported to LE at the same time. I began to drive randomly around the area, and saw his pickup truck at a light. I took a photo of it while trying not to be seen in his mirror (so the photo is obscured). I talked to an officer and texted my photo to him. I gave him a detailed description of the man and his car. About 20 minutes later, the officer called me back and said, "I just got the guy! I got him, got the woman, got his gun, got his truck." He told me to come identify the guy by sight within an hour, so I turned around and went back. It was him. The officer told me that the description had been so detailed that he'd been able to spot the guy driving, because by sheer luck the guy had been stopped at a light while the officer drove past. The woman was beaten and her face had a very long cut from top to bottom on it. I had to fill out a report, and the officers told me that the guy will be charged with two counts of assault with a deadly weapon and one count of kidnapping. They regard me as one of the crime victims, and plan to use my statement to help convict him. The woman gave a statement to police too, which corroborated my account, and the guy was taken to jail and is ineligible to bond out. After all this happened, the woman got out of the police car and ran up to me, saying "Thank you! Thank you! He was going to kill me!" She wasn't exaggerating; he had left a 4-minute message on her phone telling her he was coming to kill her, that she was a dead woman, that she needed to dig her grave, etc. Turns out, this guy has some prior issues with larceny and violent offenses.
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To save a life is to save the world. (from the Talmud).
To be honest, I think you saved _two_ lives yesterday. Yours and hers.
Your life: There is no way you could know in advance how dangerous a person you were dealing with. Most people who are combative like this man are not so intent. Your firm words may have been enough. You can\'t second guess yourself about why it turned out this way and not some other.
What you did well was assess the situation as it developed. You began with one strategy and changed it more than once to fit the circumstances. You will, I\'m sure, need to work this story through many times to see that well, but I hope you will see it. One thing I have come to believe from my rape is that our best defense is in our ability to adjust to the situation as it evolves. Whether in a dangerous crisis like this assault, or even in the span of our life, this is the best we can do. To expect any more of ourselves is simply unfair.
Her life: I see what you did changing the course of events in at least four different ways. (a) I know from personal observation that unexpected turns of events can throw even a calm cool organized attacker off his game. I made heavy use of that during the rape to slow him down and eventually get him out of the car. (b) Our ability to fight creatively is directly related to our sense of hope. Your intervention likely gave her hope and increased her ability to come up with her own ways to slow him down (c) his attacking you with the gun is unquestionably a crime in its own right and raised the seriousness in police eyes considerably. There was little time to spare and their immediate involvement was crucial (d) you have planted seeds for healing. Part of the trauma of rape and attempted murder/murder is the feeling of being abandoned by others. This woman was neither abandoned by bystanders nor the police. That\'s one HUGE stuck point you\'ve played a direct role in preventing. You not only helped her stay alive, but you have played a role in facilitating her post-attack healing process.
Do take seriously your being a crime victim. He assaulted not just your body, but your life. Assaults on one\'s life are very serious business, even if they happen in the course of trying to help another.
Many hugs and prayers.
In a sense that he will never understand, I saved him too. He is not a murderer today.
Oh, absolutely. That too.
I agree all around
I read this great thought/ prayer today \"May I help heal the wound between the intuitive and the analytical ways of thinking\". I think it in that we find resolution, healing, peace. Hope you can too. Glad you got through that awful situation in one piece.
Good news!
The detective just called me. The woman has changed her mind and is pressing charges and cooperating with prosecution. She just finished giving a statement, and it corroborated mine in every detail. They won\'t even need to interview me further. The detective said there are no discrepancies anywhere in this case, so additional felony charges have been added: 2 counts of pointing a firearm, 1 count of assault with intent to kill, and 1 count of domestic battery. His bail increased from $8000 to $66,000, and the DA is expected to accept allcharges tomorrow. He\'s going away.
The sound of clapping in Israel.
Well, the thing about being a hero -- at least as I see it -- is that truly heroic actions are performed unselfishly and so, (right or wrong, good or bad) a true hero either gives no conscious thought to \"what might happen to me\" or else does think about and understand the risks but willingly accepts them to save others. Fire fighters and police officers do this regularly in their work, and I think it\'s a characteristic that sets apart the best of them. Those people are all heroes to me. And I\'ll bet they are always looking back to know what to repeat and what to change, to learn from each occurence, because no one is perfect. So yes, Matt, without a doubt you are a hero. Thank you for being such a giving person; definitely the world is better place because you and others like you are in it.
That said, that guy was a looney-toon whacko and if you encounter one of those again maybe be heroic in a more discreet way. :)
I don\'t look good in a cape and tights.
Well, I *kinda* do...
Dude. (yep, i said dude).....I know that you are far too humble to look for accolades for any action, including something as brave as this, but you are correct. You saved the woman that day and you saved the man from his own self. Since hearing about this I have wondered if I would be able to do the same and I really do not know. You definitely rock in my book, but tights.....eh, I dunno Matt. : )
...and it strikes me as more than just a little sad and ironic that this all occurred during National Domestic Violence Month. What a testament to the sad need for such the cause.
Reading your post and the discussion following it there\'s one thing that leaps to my mind...
(maybe not for the easily offended)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwknFJpjl9g
There need to be more (people) -men-like you in the world, Really!! I am proud of you. . . for many things, but for this. . im proud. Because of the work you do; you are a hero to me. and im sure that woman is more thankful than you know. Glad he\'s going away.
i personally hope he rots in jail. I have a 4 yr old daughter and i know the world seems messed up now.. and one more scum bag off the streets... sure helps the \"mom heart\" inside me to sleep easier knowing she is just that much safer.
THANK YOU MATT!!!
Thank you matt for caring....not all men do and its nice that we are able to see how it is suppose to be!