Yearning for the Sun

I have Seasonal Disorder (SAD) and bipolar disorder.  Every year, like clock-work, my SAD gets really bad around Labor Day.  I use a SAD 10,000 lux desk lamp.    Then, starting around January, things get a little better but not much.  Without the SAD lamp,  I probably would not be alive.
 
I started using it about 10 years ago with increased success every year as I gained more experience using it.  Over the years, I have written a daily log which had the date (including the year and day of the week), wheather  (noting the rain, snow, and/or clouds).   I try to note any patterns of doses (number of minutes, timed by the same timer).  I write my overall minute patterns in distinctively different brightly colored journals (I tend during the Winter to lose darkly colored things).
 
I try to get outside as much as possible in addition to the sunlamp.  This really helps but it is extremely hard since I want to stay up very late and get up really late.
 
Spring, please come again!!  I look forward to April!!