Yeah right...
I saw my regular doc yesterday for the first time in about 6 months and had to laugh at some of the things she said to me. You see, she knows I'm bipolar, so she always asks about how I'm doing on a personal level instead of just a medical one. So, when she asked how things have been I gave her a brief over veiw of the last couple of months. When I finished she started shaking her head and saying things like how amazed she is by me, that I'm a strong, intellegent, and interesting woman, etc. etc. While it was nice to hear such compliments, I couldn't help but feel undeserving of them. Where she saw all of those qualities in the details that I gave her, I don't know. If these past months are any indication of what I'm made of I'd think it'd say that I'm a hopeless screw-up who makes a lot of dumbass mistakes. I don't veiw myself as strong for simply surviving...
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Ok, I\'ve had two people comment on this entry, which is strange because it can be veiwed as one of my least self-postive entries (why is there so much focus on it?), so I feel I should add something...
When I wrote this I wasn\'t in the greatest of moods, so I used my journal as a way to vent my disappointment in myself. That\'s suppose to be one of the uses of a journal, a controlled and safe outlet for negative emotions. However, now I\'m worried that some of the things I said are being veiwed as a \"poor me, I\'m so worthless\" load of crap, an attempt to seek out sympathy. This is NOT what I had in mind.
If anyone else has the desire to comment on this entry, please keep in mind that I was having a bad day and was merely making a personal statement to express my thoughts at the time. I\'d like to leave it at that.
Deary, in the short space of time that I have known you, I would have to agree with everything your doc said about you. For your age you are a very mature thinker, and presenter of yourself, yes, you have warned me that I have yet to meet your ugly side, but in my opinion at least, you have built up enough credits already to remain on the positive side of the ledger with me.
A bad day or not, how you feel in a negative way is at all times not a true reflection of the overall positive person that you are, so even if you don\'t want a comment against made, I care to make one anyway.
You are a FINE human being, and you should neither be ashamed to say it of yourself, and nor should you be ashamed to announce it of yourself to the WORLD, however, if you are so, then please accept that I have just said it on your behalf for YOU...YAHOO!!!