written by a leaky faced old kid.

me and the tear fairy are at odds.  i'm crying too much lately.........it's worrying me. 

tonight sam came over for dinner and to do his Momma's taxes.......we're working on all these projects that involve my making phone calls, my getting info/minutae like details for all these forms and probing questions.  part of it was to fill out an app for a 55 plus community, the waiting list is a solid two year wait.  all that stress and no room at the inn...........but step one is done at least. 

if my home were a stepless ranch a lot more solutions would present themselves.  i could easily rent a bedroom or two without steps. i'm at the point where i wouldn't want a roommate a lot younger than me.......too settled in my ways and also in need of someone with an awareness of chronic health issues......if i didn't have stairs i feel pretty certain i could stay here and use rent money to make up the medical needs difference until an apartment becomes available.  but those darned stairs are the deal breaker for anyone i would want to rent to , we're all in this no stairs daily kind of lifestyle now. 

moving on.........sam thinks that my tears and fears will settle down once we get more of these projects completed.  we're refiling forms to get me a disability exemption for my home.  i have a "homesteaders exemption" but back in 2010 or 2011, whenever i was approved i didn't know to get a homeowner's disability exemption so i never did.........the lady at the county says they will only help me with the most recent taxes but not retroactively........sam doesn't think that can be right.  taxes are forever, so whether i owe them or they owe me, someone should still get paid or refunded correctly......something like that.  however it works i should still get some help from the county i reside in.......that is due April 1st.  sam thinks he can do it for me, and then drive it over to the admin building this week.........i don't think he would volunteer to do that unless he was worried about me, cause. normally he would expect me to handle that.  i have to focus on being thankful and getting through this..........not focused on falling apart.  but i am worried.......

sam is helping me settle with some other debts, trying to get that sorted in the next few days with one group, then the other group right after that.  there's more, but financial talk is boring and stressfrul.......finances/math are not my strong suit...........he is a wonderful son and how lucky/blessed am i to have him??? VERY VERY VERY!

i picked up my meds the other day, the total was just shy of $400.00.  then today i went back and spent another $14 on pain meds. 

mercy. 

debbie the cleaning lady threw me away.......i thought that because she was my height she was an adult, but i was wrong.  so confusing. 

my new friend of the same almost name, she is Debra, not a Debbie at all.........is very kind.  Next week she needs a ride to the doctor so she invited me to come over to her home afterwards for a steak dinner.  NY strips, baked potatoes and some steamed veggies.  I told Sam she could invite me over for scrambled eggs and I would be happy..........I don't want to steal her joyofgiving a gift to a friend, but that is a high end meal for kids on our budget.......sigh, trying to think of a nice way to let her know not to blow the budget on me that way..........i'm so brain addled i am wonkified times wonkysquared.

here's a crazy thing to share.......we went to a yard sale that had a fifty cent table........i kept picking up this pinky ring.......a marquis shaped diamond like stone.......i bought it.  then a few days later i realized it. was set in 14 Karat Gold.   the shank is bent, the stone is at a funny angle and the gold itself needs some repair, the gold in the band looks like it was run over maybe.  i showed it to Sam, he thinks i should see what a jeweller says.......i know that weirdo jeweller in Winder.......I will ask him at some point. 

i keep thinking in an ideal world this ring should go back to it's original owner.  but how would we find the owner?  the yard sale was held at a church........do you think someone is freaking out somewhere over this ring or that they were truly letting it go?  .......makes a girl wonder.  i would guess that the stone is 3/4 to almost a carat .........so crazy i know right?!!!!  it's probably a cz right???? i just don't know.

hmmmmmm.  our dinner tonight was fresh greens with slivered carrots, grated cheese, seasoned croutons, hard boiled eggs w/ceasar dressing.......we had some freshly baked bread with sweet butter.

the main meal was chicken tenders, baked potato and fresh sweet corn on the cob........we skipped desert and moved onto the taxes.  sam did his own taxes on sunday so we're done for another year!  yayyyyyyyy!  my goodness. 

i have so many sticky notes, so many calls to make, i haven't made the appt for my mri or my bloodwork, i don't think i should drive this week. 

the pain keeps me awake, the main pain is the stenosis on my left side all the way down.  i get to sleep on one side and wake up in pain, then the other side and again wake up in pain.......then if i  actually fall asleep on my back which is RARE, i wake up in a real mess, i can't get up without a lot of hollering..........i need shots to help take the inflammation down.  please lord, help me maintain until i can get help...........please please please please. 

sorry for all the complaining........did i tell you that Bruce's big mower slid of the main lawn on the side and slid into the neighbor's fence?  it was a real mess, poor Bruce.  he pulled his truck into the yard, the idea was to strap a rope around the bumper of the truck and onto the mower (this is a big commercial mower) and then be able to pull it out.  that is when he realized his truck was also stuck in the mud........ugh ugh ugh!  bruce called for a tow to get his truck loose, then the waiting game began.  they kept telling him they were moments away.........he called them around 3:30 and they didn't get there until 7:23.........to make it worse we were having intermittent rain storms with high winds. 

i offered bruce hot tea, top ramen noodles and bottled water, but he said he was too mad to enjoy a thing........like i said he was having a bad day.  the tow guy got his truck unstuck and then they had to come back the next day to pull out the big mower.........he still hasn't been able to mow my yard cause he now has a new part time job handling maintenance at night for a wal mart in athens, ga.  poor bruce, sure would love to see him hired permanently by a good company, been praying for this good man to get a good job with job security and benefits for over two years now.  please lord hear our plea for this patient man, he and his wife have been doing their best with the struggles they've had, isn't it time for some relief?  some really GOOD NEWS?  please Lord, watch over this man and his family......theyare in need of your grace, your help, your guidance.  in your name, amen.

did i go to bed yet?  oh my........sara's birthday party is monday, we're taking her to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens, we're praying for sun and warm weather......both have been in short supply this month.  then we'l take her out to eat.......i have her present bag sitting on the hearth, the bag reads " Happy You Day!". 

my bum is so sore from sitting on this chair, definitely time for bed........love to you and y ou and you and y o u and you and YOU and You and yOu and me too.  all we need is love................lots of l ove!