Wow! Some good things happening at meetings.

  Just got back from the C.A. meeting. For the past while the meetings have only been about three or four people, and it's gotten to a point that they may stop meetings, but tonight there were about fifteen people. I think Cory and Lisa got the word to a few people and got them to come. It was a totally differant type of meeting, especially the sharing part. Had a couple of guys that have been around for a few years, and they just talked so differant. talked about a lot of things that just normally are never said. made me feel like just shutting my mouth and listening. I've still been a bit pissed off about what my sponsor said last night, but I'm keeping my opinions about it quiet. It is bringing about some truths that i really don't care to look at, but I know they are truths. Just by getting pissed off about what he said has made me start doing my studies more, just to show him. But I'm seeing things in the big book that I know directly relate to my problem. It has everything to do with selfishness, and I don't like it because there is truth to it. i look at my last drinking thing, and how very stupid and imature it was. I knew it, but I used bullshit excuses so that I could do it. I'm really not mad at myself because i'm writting like this. I am just being very honest with myself, and if I don't stop it, i might as well just go out now. i'm tired of bouncing around. it's really been a long time now. It's just plain time to stop, and say alright, show me how. It's a little frustrating, but I think I'm at exactly where I should be, and that's... I don't know anything. Thank you, Lord.