Wow so I didn;t expect that reaction
I put a post up talking about how I've been feeling (it's also on an earlier journal entry) and people think that I should go to the hospital? That seems a bit extreme for right now. I am not a danger to myself right now, although I'll admit that I am a bit freaked out. I cannot afford the er just because I'm freaked out. Not that I wouldn't go if I thought I needed to, I just don't think I have to right now. My Mom is here with me and, as hard as it was to do, I clued her into how I've been feeling so she's checkin in on me periodically. I also feel a little better just talking about it but I'll be honest, the reaction from the discussion board has me more freaked out than I was.... I dunno. Very strange.
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Some people have insurance so they go running to the ER for little uncertainties like that. They can afford it. (Not saying that you can\'t, by the way). It sounds to me like you are able to calm yourself down to some degree and think things through, which is terrific. I usually ask myself where my crisis falls on the scale of 1-10. If it\'s a 10, then I need to be willing to pay for quick treatment of it. And if I had $150 would I pay for treatment or go do something else? (like go to a movie, or shopping, or whatever!)
It seems to me that there is a tendency to have a \"herd mentality\" on the boards. If one person says something, and it sounds good, others jump on the bandwagon. This in turn escalates a person\'s reaction.
In your situation, you presented two optioins, ER or no ER. There are actually more options than the two. Talking to your mom was a good one,, talking to a friend, or a clergyperson are others. You might have considered giving your therapist a call, if you have one. Sometimes they will say go directly to the ER, but usually if you leave a message, most therapists will get them. If you have a psychiatrist, there should be an emergency contact number on their message machine. If not, be sure to ask when you see them next, how you would contact him or her if there is ever an emergency. My psychiatrist gave me his home number AND his cell number, in case there is an emergency. The reason that he was able to do this was because I respect him very much and he knows that I wouldn\'t call him up for any old thing. Our mutual respect has taken us a long way - I have had to call him at home because of an emergency, and was glad I did. He was able to determine that I was having an allergic reaction to a medication, help determine how to treat me, and keep me from being admitted to the hospital.
One thing that I do when I have a weird situation like you found yourself in, is to sit down and write down exactly what is going through my head. Usually I can figure out what main things I am thinking about, and what happened right before all this started. Just doing that helps a lot.
I am sure that it\'s really a disappointment to have to move back home after being out on your own. There\'s probably a whole range of emotions you\'ve experienced about this. As the parent of three young adults ages 25, 23 and nearly 21, I can say with confidence that I am sure your Mom would much rather have you home and safe than struggling emotionally and not dealing with what is happening. Having a reasonably healthy parent helps a lot. I can\'t claim that my parents get this honor. But I\'ve had nearly 5 years worth of therapy, and my kids cannot believe how calm I am compared to a lot of their friends\' parents. Recently my son\'s friend drove the riding mower thru my flowerbed, smashed the bench which I thought was hammered onto the deck, and killed my grandson\'s swimming pool. Thank goodness no one was hurt! Last week I broke the downstairs toilet, and this week my younger son broke the upstairs one. If it isn\'t one darn thing , it\'s another, but that\'s life! My husband put a new flushing mechanism on the downstairs one. Can you guess what he had to do to the upstairs one? He had to replace the entire toilet! The thing about breaking things is that if my kids are using something that everyone in the family uses, it is hard to be mad, because everything breaks at one point or another. If my kids borrow things that are specifically mine on the other hand, and then break them, I get a little more upset.
Hang in there!