Wow long time no anything...again

Void fills the recesses of my mind, emptiness leaks away what joys I should feel, the dark pulls and entices, all those past vices, tempt me once again to enter into their den, the light behind me blinds, the hate inside me winds, I just want to rip myself apart, to find the disease inside I feel that I must die, I watch as you love with one hand and hate with the other, how can we know which way to turn, you make me want to run and hide, but if I leave alone will they too die a little more inside.