wow FINNALLY BACK hopefully, Fri Dec 26,2014 8p.m ish

Well this seems kinda festive color. Havnt been on here in a long time, more than a month, Bad, i need to be on here more now than ever. i need to make a thing w/ myself that i get on here at least once a day. I for one will be SO GLAD wene this suck ass yr is finnally OVER. IT WAS A BAD ONE FOR ME AND MANY OTHER PEOPLE.I feel like ive been beat down from this year. i HATE to even watch the new's anymore, know i should, but it is so sad and depressing, my poor town is so divided and broke up. I personally have never seen anything like what has been happening. I know they say we are number one for murder's, but come on. I am ashamed of so many things including myself in my bubble of my own problems while there are so many who have it 120.0000 it worse, SHAME ON ME!!!!!! I miss Robin, then Joe Cocker just passed on Monday. So many bad things happened in the world and here, i could go on for many pages, cant even remember them all. i like most people i know have a very low attention span. (may i help you?) see what i mean. My son still has no job. i am broker than i can remember, i have been sick ALLOT this year and i have slight agoraphobia anyway, been sooo down for so long, if i could cry i prob would never stop. I'm getting and feeling older and defiantly lazier than i have been in a while. ive lost all the muscle mass i worked soo hard for. I didn't want to leave today NEVER DO so i called and got Chinese food delivered. VERY BAD i shouldn't really even eat it not supposed to. but it was a wim. I have let my apt go to shit (HELLO, IM GIMMIE, AND I AM A NETFLIX JUNKY) i do love my computer, but im on it ALLOT and most of it is the dreaded Netflix. i have a very old computer so the quality isn't even very good, but i have it on allot. I've had medicine issues and a digestional issue for so long, im so week from all the non doing of ANYTHING. i'm completely out of sync w/ the rest of the world. I have to change some of my bad way's in 2015. HAVE TO REALLY, NO I MEAN IT THIS TIME. ya know wen your alone allot, at least i do talk to myself all the time. I am so thankful i have a loving compassionate family and boyfriend and of course this site and not to forget my awesome social worker, She rocks and we are more like friend's. Perfect fit for me, even around my same age. Did have a great Christmas with all my fam and boyfriend. it would have been perfect if my oldest son was there lives in other state, miss him so much. My family thankfully all get along, not a real big family, but we all love each other. Our new Well we do it every year, we sing song's and the main on is Bohemian Rapsidy. WE SING IT LOUD AND PROUD!!!!! everyone get's involved, even the babies. we are very musical. I know for me music is the only thing that stay's true and strong, keeps the thought's and regrets at bay a little anyway. wow can i ramble or what. i could go on forever, getting a cramp in my hands, see getting older, soon boy scouts will have to come and type things for me..Tee Hee  ok will write more later hand cramp OWCH!!!!!!!