Would be birthday
Yesterday, Easter Sunday, would have been Aaron's 40th birthday. Since it was Easter, I was busy trying to make it special for the kids with Easter time activities. I felt stressed, overwhelmed and just in a rotten mood. i tried to not be, but I just was. My thoughts of Aaron were put on the back burner and that night the grief hit especially hard. It always is, when I avoid the fact that he's gone during the day.
I wonder what his birthday would have been like if he were still here. My sons would have their dad...and they'd make him a card. He would be able to see how cute our baby is now...all things she does now. She was four months old then. Now she's 10 months old, trying to walk and really shows her personality.
He'd probably be in poor humor over turning 40 and not in the mood to celebrate. I'm guessing Easter would've been a bad day for me anyway. i just wish things were different....Or who knows. Maybe we would have celebrated his birthday, and everyone have a good day. I think that I would have gotten him one of those machines where you can make your own soda pop because he really wanted one. Maybe a new guitar. I wish that I knew the outcomes. I wish that I knew then what I know now. But doesn't everybody wish that?
Another day of grief gone by...
I wonder what his birthday would have been like if he were still here. My sons would have their dad...and they'd make him a card. He would be able to see how cute our baby is now...all things she does now. She was four months old then. Now she's 10 months old, trying to walk and really shows her personality.
He'd probably be in poor humor over turning 40 and not in the mood to celebrate. I'm guessing Easter would've been a bad day for me anyway. i just wish things were different....Or who knows. Maybe we would have celebrated his birthday, and everyone have a good day. I think that I would have gotten him one of those machines where you can make your own soda pop because he really wanted one. Maybe a new guitar. I wish that I knew the outcomes. I wish that I knew then what I know now. But doesn't everybody wish that?
Another day of grief gone by...
Replies
Well first of all, 40 is young, but it is a watershed year for sure. Facing the birthday of a loved one who is gone from this earth is hard enough without coupling it with a \"horrorday\" (a new term for holiday). We all wish we knew \"then\" what we \"know now\" but.......would that have changed anything, really? No. That\'s why we don\'t know the future, it\'s really in our best interest. Many hugs to you dear one.
Both on the same day had to be so hard. You made it through for your children, even in the midst of such pain. These are tremendous accomplishments that no one but your friends on this site can even recognize. I take Matt hiking on our forest trails nearly every day now that the weather is nice enough. Every single time out there, all I can think of is how it should be the three of us. I sure hope time really does help us all to heal. Prayers for you and the kids.
Robert