Worst day yet
I believe today is the worst I've experienced yet. Knowing this Christmas is the last ever as a family and knowing it will be horrible is killing me. Then I start thinking about all the " last times" behind me and ahead of me. I can't remember our last heartfelt kiss, hearing the last sincere "I love you.", etc. It has totally unmanned me. I'm a freaking wuss crying like a little girl, wishing I could leave work. I feel like I need to be held while I bawl and be told how great I am, and the only one I need to do this for me is the one causing the pain.
Replies
You are not a wuss. You are human and in pain. You have to let yourself feel these things. It has to happen. It sucks I know, but just let it happen. Yes there will be lasts, but it only happens once and each time is hard each holiday is hard, but you will get through this. You are strong enough. I will keep you in my prayers.
I can totally relate to how you\'re feeling. We think back and just wonder when was the last time they truly loved us and how it isn\'t fair to us. We know we are great people. I for one know I am an amazing woman, but that will never change the fact that he didn\'t appreciate me. You\'re worth it, don\'t let some girl who doesn\'t know your worth make you feel this way. I know I should take my own advice but man...it\'s hard.
Thank you ladies. I\'m going to go home after work and put if the Christmas tree that hasn\'t been put up because of this Crap. It will be hard not to show the pain to my 12 & 13 year old sons while I do it, but that is the plan.
She, on the other hand, said she won\'t be home until midnight or so. She did say she\'d be drinking and knows she can call me if she needs a ride home. She won\'t. But the mother of my children needs to know I would rather her not put herself in danger. .
Try to enjoy your time with your children tonight. Think of them and all the happiness they bring you. You are a good man and I am sure your kids appreciate you being there for them. Be proud of yourself for being a good role model for your children. I know this is hard. But you can do it.
I wish that being those things were enough. Whether or not I can, I have to.
If she loved you, they would be enough. Don\'t put yourself down & pray for your wife. There are many good single women your age out there, I don\'t find a lot of good single men your age out there. Pray for her, she will need your prayers.