Worries + Retriggers = Surprise...problems sleeping again

Dear DS diary,
Today, my head is in a really bad place.  I was not able to fall asleep until midnight last night, and the only reason I got my chores nailed down today was that they were of the really active type.  Anything else would have been a disaster.
The problem is twofold this time.
First, I am very, very worried about one of my friends here.  I don't want to mention her name because I promised to her some time ago that I would TMI on anything without her permission first, but I haven't heard from her in a while.  Someone who is also a friend of hers finally found out about 48 hours ago that my friend in question as been in the ICU now for over a week without much improvement.  We are both hoping that she pulls through but it doesn't sound good.  I haven't known her for long but I can already tell you that I'd be devastated to lose her.
The other is that I wish I could just live under a rock for the next four months at the minimum.  The trial in the Boston Marathon bombings two years ago, which was a major trigger for me, started this week...and it's stealing the headlines both on the newspaper and on the radio.  I have no way of completely avoiding both, so I'm getting exposed to the story a couple of times day.  Suffice it to say that it's bringing my retriggers back, in particular the nightmare of me getting caught in the blast.
Between these two things, I may be seeing a run on caffeine shots for months to come, because I have no way of avoiding the latter of these two issues until who knows when.  Despite the fact that I wasn't anywhere near it, the marathon bombing has become such a part of my psyche that I don't think I'll be able to go anywhere without my guard up ever again, and that includes a wedding I have to go to in late June at a place that's already been scouted out and appears safe.
(sigh)...
 

Replies

Julie111
Julie111

I thought of you when I saw this on the news the other day.
I didn\'t have any cell service.
How are you doing now?
I know this one is huge for you.
I know that it is exacerbated by the news,
its one of the reasons I basically refuse to watch the news
I have learned that if I didn\'t cause it and I wasn\'t there and I can\'t control it and I don\'t have anything to do with it --- then it is OK for me to
let it go and not dwell on it.