Worn out
This last week has been what I would consider hard for me. On top of my other thoughts, I've been worn so far down with the physical side of things, that I'm on the verge of collapse. My sister has had her kids over for the last 3 days, for my mother to babysit, and sadly that includes me. There is a lot my mom can't do anymore, and her patience and nerves aren't what they used to be.
At the same time though, I don't know how much more I can realistically do. Last night, I needed my walker, a first in 4 months for me. The kids are seriously unruly, and it is more about containment then anything else. They refuse to listen, punish them and they laugh at you and defy you, it is just horrible. I have to be so much more aware, and physical, and the demand is a lot more then a typical day for me, and I'm not handling it well.
I don't know what to do about it, but I needed to let it out, and off my mind. This is going to be a regular thing now, Wednesday - Friday with them, and I'm dreading it. I haven't felt this sick in awhile, and no matter what I say, they refuse to understand. I can understand the 3 year old not getting it so much, but the 9 year old should, but he doesn't seem to care. My mom tells me to rest, and to go inside, and to be careful with everything, and I do, but I leave, they flip out that I'm gone, come and find me, and badger and pester me to the point that I just conform.
I modify my activities a lot, but it isn't enough. And I don't seem to handle crying very well. Might get better as time goes on, but right now, crying to me makes me stressed out, so I do what I can to avoid it. I'm miserable right now, and oddly enough, I'm completely alone in feeling this. They don't seem to care how this is impacting me, and while they say they understand, I honestly don't feel that anymore. I feel that my sister and mom understand when they don't need me to do something for them. Otherwise, he will be ok, don't worry about him. I hate it.
At the same time though, I don't know how much more I can realistically do. Last night, I needed my walker, a first in 4 months for me. The kids are seriously unruly, and it is more about containment then anything else. They refuse to listen, punish them and they laugh at you and defy you, it is just horrible. I have to be so much more aware, and physical, and the demand is a lot more then a typical day for me, and I'm not handling it well.
I don't know what to do about it, but I needed to let it out, and off my mind. This is going to be a regular thing now, Wednesday - Friday with them, and I'm dreading it. I haven't felt this sick in awhile, and no matter what I say, they refuse to understand. I can understand the 3 year old not getting it so much, but the 9 year old should, but he doesn't seem to care. My mom tells me to rest, and to go inside, and to be careful with everything, and I do, but I leave, they flip out that I'm gone, come and find me, and badger and pester me to the point that I just conform.
I modify my activities a lot, but it isn't enough. And I don't seem to handle crying very well. Might get better as time goes on, but right now, crying to me makes me stressed out, so I do what I can to avoid it. I'm miserable right now, and oddly enough, I'm completely alone in feeling this. They don't seem to care how this is impacting me, and while they say they understand, I honestly don't feel that anymore. I feel that my sister and mom understand when they don't need me to do something for them. Otherwise, he will be ok, don't worry about him. I hate it.
Replies
Wow, it sounds like these kids have had no structure from your sister and have turned into full-fledged brats. That is sad for the kids and for you and your mom.
Please, tell your sister that these kids are so poorly behaved that they should not be with you and your mom. When she gets them to behave, then they can be with you and your Mom (that should put a spark into your sister). Even a 3 year old, you can put structure in their lives, but it all should have been started long before now.
I\'m sorry you have to use the walker and that tells me you are so overdoing it and it\'s just no good for you. Take care and hugs.
They don\'t sadly. Not at all. My sister lets them do whatever they want to do, and just screams and yells at them when she notices they are doing something wrong. It is horrible. Telling my sister that is a joke at best, or will start a massive fight between me and her, and my mom all at once, one of which I can\'t realistically have without their being repercussions from it. As much as it sucks, I\'m stuck living here, and with no exit strategy in place I guess you could say, it is easier for me to be tortured and abused by them, then to rock the boat and potentially be homeless. As of late, my MG means nothing to them, and honestly, that hurts worse then the abuse the kids do to me.