Working things out

I worked things out with my hasband I don't want to lose him and push him away anymore the more thine goes on I want to keep him close I know none of family care for him I just have to trust my heart and I got in to this one with true intentions and I will see this to the end . I had a dream last night. It was so vivid that I've worked things out with my sister, but that's not so true nowadays she has not talked to me. I don't know when she's gonna talk to me, but it's really disheartening and upsetting me day-to-day I want our relationship to still be there, but I'm not sure i'm giving it some time. I'm not trying to bug my family and I don't need their approval on anything I am capable of making my own decisions, but it really hurts my feelings that we're not talking right now it's been almost 3 months. I have a new niece until it hurts to this day. I hope that one day we can really conciliate and be closer than ever, but that day might not even come, so I'm just waiting. It really hurts my feelings deep inside and she thinks that I'm not grateful for when I live with her. I am grateful maybe she's just waiting it out till I feel better and I'm not so manic these days. I feel just fine. I'm a little issues in my roommate, but she just told me she feels like she's gonna die not again that's what I'm thinking in my head because I'm not ready for another person to pass away but if she feels that way, tell her to go to her doctor and find out what's going on, she won't do it. I'm gonna pray about my sister because I can't take this anymore. I feel like if we go on and on without talking any longer. I'm just not gonna wanna talk to her again and that'll be a low blow. I don't want that to happen but I feel like the way it just everything's going. I just feel abandoned. That's a word I never use, but I really feel abandoned by my her and her husband don't want anything to do with me, which is my brother-in-law, but I won't go into that because it's kind of personal but I feel like if I don't make right with her husband, she's not gonna wanna be my friend or my sister. It just hurts my feelings all around. I don't know what to do. All I can do is pray about it and wait for the day she wants to rekindle things of sisters. Also, I went to counseling counselor is counseling giving me a new counselor because I don't know if he thinks I'm a good fit for him which is OK but he kind of figures I need a woman's perspective so I agreed with him. He's really nice person and I really enjoyed talking to him. He really put a lot of things in perspective for me and I'm learning. I think that getting a job right now might be very difficult but I really need the money. I'm really broke this month and I really feel like getting out maybe going to a job 4 hours  a day might benefit.