working at it...
Went past my one month goal and I keep working on staying away - one day at a time. So far I've succeeded . . . . For some reason, though, I find it hard to get as excited about other things as I did going to the casino. Believe me, I WANT to enjoy things as much - of course I'm only thinking of the good times I had back then- not the painful reality of the shame, guilt, lies, deceit, frustration, fear, etc., all rolled into one bundle of nerves. :] I do know all that logically but on an emotional level I miss the excitement. Or - - -maybe I was just addicted to the roller coast - the rush! The excitement of the possible "big" win. Just venting feelings - reality IS I can't gamble normally. One of these days I'll stop going over and over it in my head and not write these boring entries :] - - -it will happen. Lately I just feel like things are ho hum and boring... anyone else have any of those feelings? Anyway, I know I'm better off and will continue to stay away!! Money going in the bank - - -and that's GOOD!Take care,Hugs to all,Smokeygirl
Replies
Not boring at all!...because we know that anguish...we have felt it. It is hard to get that same \"rush\" from every day activities...maybe we should all take up skydiving or bungie jumping. Lol...sometimes I think I substituted gambling for having a \"real\" life. At one time, music was my great passion, but no more, and I
haven\'t found anything to replace it...I need to find a new passion in life!
Yesterday I met a woman who is back in the country for a couple of weeks before
she returns to Bejing where she operates an \"underground\" church. She is living
her passion...bet she doesn\'t need to gamble, eh???
Big congrats on meeting your goal! WOO HOO!!!!!
Big congrats on doing SO GREAT
Congrats on your one month goal. That is great. Well maybe it\'s my age, but I agree life is boring, but I kind of like it this way. I never liked \"drama\" and like organization but when I gambled it was too much drama and left my life in a mess. It is one extreme or the other for me I guess. Haven\'t figured it out yet but since it\'s only one day, who cares? At least I have today to be calm and relaxed and enjoy whatever happens and not worrying about bills and no money for food. If someone calls and says hey lets see a movie, then that is great. I want to see Jeff Bridges new movie but it\'s not showing in our area, but I look forward to seeing it. Little things excite me you see. lol. hugs to ya Barb
Thanks guys for your support and your comments about the \"boring\" aspect... actually it\'s funny I said that because I have a lot of interests and fun things to do - I guess my point was the excitement of them just doesn\'t compare to the machines... oh well; if that\'s the worst I have to live with, that isn\'t bad!! Hope you\'re having a great day,
Hugs,
Smokeygirl